E.M.B.R.A.C.E. Your Life Changes

Change is a part of life so since you can’t avoid it you might as well learn to ride it with grace & ease.    So here is an E.M.B.R.A.C.E. method for handling the twists & turns life brings you. These counter intuitive techniques have the power to break you free from the grip of the chaos of endlessly spinning in confusion and dread.

E – Expectations 

“Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole world changes in an instant! “ ~ Tony Robbins

Expectations of how things should be keep you in a perpetual spin cycle of disappointment. By focusing on the outcome you focus on variables you cannot control. This is a way of keeping you from feeling 100% responsible. One way to shift this is to take control of how you approach situations by focusing on what you can control – your focus.

Ironically, by fixating on appreciating every aspect of an experience you shift the outcome. This may seem counter-intuitive because we are trained to look for problems, expect the other shoe to drop, and use worry as a distraction. But by appreciating we stay present and active in the process so the process and the outcome are more enjoyable and less reliant on artificial constraints.

M – Mulishness

“Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Dealing with your stubbornness is essential to cycle management because with change comes discomfort. It’s not wrong, it is just part of the process. But because of our reticence to embrace discomfort we dig in our heels as an avoidance technique. We close the door on possibilities and opportunities we didn’t expect. Even in the face of alarm bells and total defeat we cling to our original path because a known discomfort is more palatable and less scary that an unknown one.

B – Broadcast

“It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.” ~ Patrick Rothfuss

We all broadcast a vibration that is encoded with the story we tell ourselves about our life. We interpret the information we get and then broadcast a vibration based on our interpretation. So if we have a filter that life is a hard place then our experiences are going to be flavored by that vibration. It is like every cycle is a plain bowl of rice and the vibration we broadcast flavors the rice – so it can be bitter, sweet, uncomfortably hot or comforting like vanilla & cinnamon. We are in charge of the flavor profile so we can turn the knob up or down by noticing what overlays we are putting on the information the Universe is giving us. For example one person stuck at a red light might be angry at the delay and spend the time recalling other past annoying events, thus flavoring the rest of their day. Whereas the person in the car next to them might be grateful for the moment of pause and use the time to take some deep breaths and relax, also flavoring the rest of their day.

R – Rituals

“There is a comfort in rituals, and rituals provide a framework for stability when you are trying to find answers.” ~ Deborah Norville

Rituals offer us a framework of support. Sometimes we pull away from structure because we think it will restrict us but in fact it can offer just what we need, if we build it correctly. The secret to creating the proper structure to help us through changes is to create structures that complement rather than constrain us.

For example, if your new cycle includes starting your own business you might shy away from having a business plan because you feel the traditional document does not speak to you. But don’t give up on the support it can give you  – just create one that speaks your language. So instead of Income Projections plan the impact you will have with your new venture. Instead of an Executive Summary define your vision and your mission. Instead of Marketing & Sales map out the actions you intend to use to carry it all out.

A – Anxiety

“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” ~ Charles Spurgeon

Managing your anxiety about your newest life cycle helps make it a less bumpy ride. Again, do the counter-intuitive thing: instead of turning away from your anxiety go toward it, full throttle. When you catch yourself having an anxious thought like, “If I lose my job I might lose my home” when you think about possible lay-offs at work, instead of skirting away from that thought dive right into it. Repeat it 20-30 times. Think of nothing else – just pause and repeat it like a mantra until it looses all charge. You almost even get bored with it, thus signaling your freedom from it.

C- Choose

“People always ask me, ‘What is it that you regret?’ And I say, ‘nothing, because I could not buy what I’ve learned.’ And I apply those things to my life I learn. And hopefully, hopefully it helps me to be a better human in the future and make better choices.” ~ Katy Perry

You can prolong the pain associated with change forever by not making any choices, but why would you want to? We get paralyzed by decisions by either fretting about not having enough information or distancing ourselves from our intuition. But the most paralyzing aspect of making a decision is the thought that there is a right choice. If you can let that thought float way like a like a balloon then you will untether yourself from the weight of making a mistake. If instead you could face each decision with the knowing that just by making the next decision you are moving forward. If you have to make a different decision in just a few steps then at least you’ve begun the journey.

E –Emotions

“Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you.” ~ Roger Ebert

The most counter intuitive aspect of our emotions is they are all good for they are all sending us a message, as that is their only job. The question is can you hear its song? For example, if you are envious of a new opportunity one of your friends just got then what is this negative emotion of envy mean for you? If you peeled back the wrappings to the core you just might find that the discomfort you feel is at yourself for dreams you’ve given up on or projects you’ve been avoiding. This envy, if really listened to, could be the message you need to move you forward toward your big vision of your impact in the world.

Change rolls in on the little cat feet of discomfort of newness. But you can be comforted with the knowledge that in your E.M.B.R.A.C.E. lays the answer to smoothly rolling along with the cycles of your life. If you have been stuck in a whirlpool of spinning confusion, unease or negative emotions then break free by employing these counter-intuitive tactics. Once released from that buffeting grip you can then ride the wave of empowerment.

Simple Secrets to Soaring With Spirit

Are you ready to take a quantum leap…get on the fast track to your Cosmic Connection to Source in order to fulfill your purpose, manifest whatever you want easily and joyfully, and experience your life the way it was meant to be?

Then you’ll want to register for this power-packed 3-part video series – Simple Secrets to Soaring With Spirit: How To Access Your Own Divine Guidance For Greater Purpose, Passion and Passion.

Just go here to see these free videos–>> http://bit.ly/Zipett

I am often asked about how to create a strong connection to your own Source, so when my my friend and colleague Eva Gregory created this video series I knew it would be worth your while. She shares how you can accelerate your connection to your own Higher Self.

This video series won’t be available for much longer, so be sure to register now. Here’s that link again –>> http://bit.ly/Zipett

Blessings,

Donna

P.S.  This series won’t be available for much longer, so be sure to register for the video series that could rock your world! http://bit.ly/Zipett

P.P.S. Feel free to pass this along to friends and colleagues who can also benefit from this power-packed video series while it’s still available!

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Is Your Pursuit of Balance Making You Dizzy?

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” ~ Thomas Merton

 “A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.”  ~ William Arthur Ward

One of the funniest things is when my cat chases her tail. She looks at it like it is not part of her – like it is a surprise every time she sees it. She will whirl around and around, never quite able to catch it. Then she’ll stop and stare at it and go in the other direction, as if the tail is chasing her back. She can amuse herself (and us) for hours.

We are all a little like my cat concerning our mind-body complex. Our minds chase after anything – worry, aches, & stray thoughts. Our bodies feel like they’ve turned on us and are chasing us down with dis-eases, pain, aging, hormonal changes, & irregularities. And we look at both of them sometimes as if they are not part of us but a foreigner occupying our space.

But like so many things in life it is when we stop chasing and rest that the answer can approach us in our stillness. Our body-mind complex is a beautiful symphony of ever changing homeostasis – we just need to understand the tune it is playing so we can enjoy the performance.

Our systems are one thing with many parts – much like our hand is made up of a palm and five digits, yet it is not 6 different things. As one thing every part is looking for connection and communication from all the other parts. However, life often gets in the way and these threads are severed by traumas, accidents, dis-ease,  & emotional stressors. When this happens we have been culturally conditioned to look at the result as if it exists within a vacuum. For example, if we have knee pain we only think about alleviating it rather than thinking about what could have caused it to spring up in the first place and then addressing that issue.

But there is another way. A holistic solution would take into account all the aspects associated with whatever discomfort you feel and address the root causes rather than the solutions.

For example, in BodyTalk™, an energy therapy system I use with my clients, each aspect of the body has a consciousness. So if you are having trouble with your gallbladder then chances are you are faced with a decision you are reluctant to make, as the consciousness of the gallbladder is a catalyst for decisions and motivation. Some clients have trouble committing to a decision; paralyzed when faced with making a choice. Others are constant regretors, making decisions and then relentlessly second guessing them. Both are indicators that the consciousness of your gallbladder may be out of balance.

Your imbalance might manifest as an actual physical reaction, like gallstones or it could manifest as mental indecision, but both could be “righted” by reconnecting your gallbladder back into the body-mind symphony so all your sections are playing the same beautiful melody.

One of the best ways for you to re-integrate yourself is through intentional movements and breathing. Adding fluidity to your system has a positive impact. Here are some gentle Qigong movements I learned from Master Zhou you could use to rebalance yourself. These movements may seem simple but since they are balancing your body-mind and your left-right brain hemispheres they are more difficult than they look. Please be gentle with yourself if you do not get them right away.

Two Hands Holding the Sky

• Stand with feet shoulder width apart and hold hands beside ears, inhale and move hands straight up towards the sky. Exhale and bring hands back to your ears. Repeat 9 times.

Pushing Down Earth & Holding Up Heaven

• Start with feet shoulder width apart, with your right hand by your ear and your left hand under your armpit. Have right hand go up to the sky while the left hand pushes along the side of the body down to the earth while inhaling. While exhaling bring both hands back up and reverse order. Repeat 9 times.

Your breath is another way to reincorporate balance. Your breath is the connector between your body-mind complex so it has a very specific function. Here are 2 breathing exercises you can use to link communication between your body & mind.

Elevator Breathing

• Sit in a relaxed position and breathe through your nose only. Imagine your breath begins at your navel and inhale up to your heart. Pause for a count of 3 and think of the word Peace. Exhale from your heart down to your navel, pausing for a count of 3 and thinking of the word Calm. Repeat the process 9 times.

Smile Breath

• Smile on your inhale and relax your face on your exhale. Breath through your nose only. Repeat 9 times.

So if you ever feel like you are chasing you own tail, then stop and listen. Notice where you’ve separated part of yourself, or where your body is signaling an imbalance. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings around your distress and they will lead you to your root causes, thus freeing you from the never ending merry-go-round of seeking relief from your pain.

Let’s All Connect ~ Love ~ Thrive in 2013!

What’s your wish for 2013? If you were given the answer would you say yes to it?

That’s why I want to share with you an incredible free event called Connect ~ Love ~Thrive that I am co-hosting.

The reason I’m so excited about it is there are 18 really good heart-based expert speakers teaching on a wide variety of topics related to personal & business growth. Everything from Social Media to Removing Blocks from our Childhood Imprints.

Plus it’s all over the phone so you can listen live or hear the replay if the time isn’t convenient. It’s a Virtual Speaker Expo running 6-weeks from February 19^th – March 28^th.

Click here to go to Connect-Love-Thrive.com and get the details, look into the eyes of the speakers and check out the wide variety of topics. I know there will be some that will really speak to you.

This is one of those things that shows up right when you need it.

Please check it out & let me know what you think.

Also please share it with anyone you think would be interested in it – the new energy of 2013 is very collaborative so I thank you in advance for your time & effort.

Blessings,

Donna

PS – Connect-Love-Thrive is really a labor of love for me & did I mention it was FREE???

PPS – Here’s a little video about the event – it’s my first video attempt so be kind

VFT: The Secret Sauce of Manifesting

“Don’t let anything stand in the way of you claiming and manifesting the life that you choose rather than the life you have by default.” ~ Joy Page

“By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The non-existent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired.” ~ Nikos Kazantzakis

A few years ago the movie The Secret was all the rage. It was a wonderfully done movie about manifesting your heart’s desires. I think the movie is visually stunning and it does a very good job of giving an overview to the manifesting process, but it does leave out some essentials. So I’m going to let you in on the secrets behind The Secret.

Manifesting is like baking a delicate soufflé; it has very few ingredients but they need to be handled properly or you get a flat mess.

As The Secret tells you the 3 main ingredients to manifesting are to visualize what you want, hold that vision and then expect it to show up. Well, I’ve broken them down a little deeper for you to give you the ingredients in the secret sauce. My three step process is to visualize, feel and trust; but with a twist!

Secret # 1: Visualization

All the literature talks about visualizing what you want in order to manifest it, right? Well if that was all there was to it you’d have everything you ever wanted. So I’m going to ask you, “How’s it going for you?” Probably not good if you’re like most people. That’s because you don’t know the inside secret to successfully visualizing your desires. Here it is:

You must visualize from your desire not toward your desire.

This little tweak makes a 100% difference! Here’s how it works. For example, maybe you want a new car. Visualizing toward it would look like you seeing yourself in the car of your dreams. But if you notice, there is a disconnect there. By you seeing yourself doing something you are the observer, not the actor. So to visualize from your desire means to visualize from a vantage point of inside the action. So back to the new car scenario, you would pick a visual that would signify that you have the car of your dreams. Maybe choose a scene where you are pulling up in front of your home in the car and your neighbor notices you and says, “Hey, is that your new car?” and you reply, “It sure is, I just got it.” Encapsulate this scene in your mind and play it over and over again. From this vantage point you are inside the action, not merely a bystander.

Secret #2: Feel It

The next essential step is to feel what you would feel as if it has happened. So in the above scenario, when you run that scene in your mind then also feel the feelings that accompany it. Feel how happy you are driving the car into your driveway. Feel the pride when you show it to your neighbor. Feel the leather seat and smell the new car smell. Immerse yourself in a sensory bath of feelings. Your amplitude of feelings is in direct correlation to how quickly and clearly your manifestation will come into being. Thoughts are suggestions, but your feelings are the commands that your subconscious mind responds to.

Secret #3: Trust It

Once you have set up your scene that represents an action that takes place after your manifestation has come to pass, and overlaid it with your intense feelings, then you must act as if it is so. This layer of trust is needed to seal the deal. This is the hardest step because you must ignore your senses and rely on your imagined state. We are all very ingrained to gauge reality by our senses. If we can’t see, feel or touch something then it must not be there, right? Well, remember your subconscious does not know if you are actually seeing something or imagining it. It is shrouded from your external senses and can only process the information you feed it. So if you set up your visualization, feel your feelings and then run around noticing how you don’t have that car yet, your subconscious can’t help but get derailed. Ignore what is and trust what must be around the corner. By keeping your sights on what you want, instead of what you have, you will move from what you have to what you want. It’s like the old adage in Driver’s Ed – the car will go where you are looking, which is why we can’t fixate on anything while driving.

This VFT technique is the most effective way to use your manifestation powers. Pick something small and make these important changes and measure your results. Drop me an email or post on my blog how this technique works for you. I’d love to hear your success stories.

Technorati Tags: abundance, holistic coaching, law of attraction, LOA

Are You Magnetizing Your Fears?

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.” ~ Steve Jobs

“The components of anxiety, stress, fear, and anger do not exist independently of you in the world. They simply do not exist in the physical world, even though we talk about them as if they do.” ~ Wayne Dyer

How much of your life is spent in fear? Do a quick scan – every time you are anxious about the future, get upset about something that might happen, expect the other shoe to drop, or ruminate about past events then you are spending lots of your precious time in fear. So what can you do to change this vicious spiral?

Close your eyes and visualize yourself holding two magnets; one is labeled FEAR and the other is labeled HAPPINESS.  The magnets turn on when you look at them.  So the more you look at the FEAR magnet the more it pulls what you don’t want into your life. So, if all you have to do is to avert your eyes from the FEAR magnet and lock onto the HAPPINESS magnet then why don’t we? Here’s the big secret:

Fear has a hypnotic effect on us because it is so primal!

Fear has served us well throughout our ancestry. We needed to know when to run and when it was safe to put our kids down for the night. Over the centuries we have entwined fear and intuition and believe they are connected.  They are easy to tell apart – fear screams and intuition whispers. But fear’s primal nature is so hypnotic because of the delicious sense of adrenaline it provides.

Underneath all fear is an undercurrent of adrenaline that keeps us on the hook. This combo makes fear feel alive and exciting in our lives, even though the subject matter is not what we want to bring in to our life.

This adrenaline makes our fears seem alive in our lives even before the actual event comes to pass. It is this quick flash of immediate adrenaline that keeps our eyes locked on our FEAR magnet.

Case Study

I have a client who was magnetizing her fears with her boyfriend. She would have fear dreams where he would cheat on her. Then she would tell him about the dreams and get overly anxious when he was friendly to other women and female co-workers. She was feeding her fears and creating what she didn’t want by dousing him in her anxieties. Her boyfriend was totally committed to her, and wanted them to move in together. So in reality he was not pulling away in any manner, but her fear prevented her from moving forward.

Fears are False Illusions Appearing Real so her reality was very positive with this man; she was just unable to see it because she was mesmerized by what she didn’t want. Her fear had a stronger emotional hold on her than her happiness.

Looking at our HAPPINESS magnet just doesn’t feel as immediately exciting, so it doesn’t hold our attention as well. We tend to rein in our excitement until we are sure a good event will come to pass. Haven’t you ever heard the saying, “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch?” The trick to turning this cycle around is to move the powerful, good feelings linked to your HAPPINESS magnet into your today, even before the event has happened.

It will take some reprogramming, but start by revving up your imagination so you feel the rush of good feelings surrounding an event long before it happens. This is crucial because we will gravitate to the strongest feeling, regardless if it is good or bad. That’s the magnetic aspect.

So in this example, instead of being so attracted to the fear scenario, my client needs to shift her attention and feelings to a happiness scenario. So, it would look like this as an option:

Instead of worrying about things that might go bad with her boyfriend, she could focus on the all the things that she is grateful for about him and their relationship. But to make this very present in her day she must write down 3 things she’s grateful for every day. And then she must feel the gratitude. She can keep this going by looking at her list 3-4 times a day.

This re-patterning might take some time before it feels natural, but it is essential to making your shift.

Replace your deep fried platter of fear with an even better dish – the delicious anticipation of happiness. You just need to re-train your brain to feel your good emotions prior to the events; this will override the adrenaline addiction of fear. Since practice makes it easier, look for all the opportunities your day brings you to practice this technique.

[This article is a reprint of my September 2012 Living Well column in Natural Triad.]

Technorati Tags: abundance, Coaching Personal Transition, holistic coaching, personal life coaching, Whole Life Coaching

When Is It’s Good to Give Up?

When Is It’s Good to Give Up?

By: Donna Burick

“When things go wrong, don’t go with them.” ~ Elvis Presley

“I ended up dropping out of high school. I’m a high school dropout, which I’m not proud to say, … I had some teachers that I still think of fondly and were amazing to me. But I had other teachers who said, ‘You know what? This dream of yours is a hobby. When are you going to give it up?’ I had teachers who I could tell didn’t want to be there. And I just couldn’t get inspired by someone who didn’t want to be there” ~ Hilary Swank

You might assume that when you’re on your deathbed reviewing your life the things you didn’t do would be your biggest regrets. Well, I don’t think that’s true. I think your biggest regrets stem from the negative things you didn’t give up on. Too often we trudge through our life tenaciously clinging to our negative messages, hurts, and disappointments. These are the things that choke out our dreams & desires. Have you given up on the wrong things in life?

When dealing with your negative stories giving up is a good thing. We often let go of our dreams and our desires while expending our energy holding onto our justification of why we can’t. Here’s an example of how that plays out in our lives.

There is an old story about two monks – an old monk and a young monk. Now these monks were not supposed to come in contact with women, but as they were traveling down a wooded path, they came upon a woman who was trying to cross a section of a river. This woman was not able to jump over the river and she did not have any other way to cross. There was no bridge or stepping stones. The young monk approached the woman, picked her up and carried her across. He bade her goodbye and then returned on his journey alongside the older monk. After many hours of traveling, the young monk says to the older monk, “Is something wrong? It seems like you’ve been angry for a while.” The older monk turned to the young monk and said, “You better believe I’m angry! Haven’t you learned anything during your time with me? We are not supposed to come into contact with women.” To which the younger monk replied, “But Master, I put that woman down hours ago, it is you who has been carrying her all this time.”

So how do we know if we are giving up on the wrong things? Here is a quick 4 step process to test yourself on what you’ve given up on and how it’s affecting your life. The test is to see how quickly you can answer these 4 questions. If you can quickly answer questions 1 & 2, then you are holding onto things that don’t serve you. But if you can quickly answer 3 & 4 then you are holding onto things that bring you joy.

1. Write down 3 things that annoy you about the world, your life, your workplace, etc.

We go through our daily life bombarded with things that annoy, frighten and anger us. Notice how you are letting those things into your day. Are you spending time watching the news? Do you scan the internet for stories of political turmoil, financial crisis or crime?

2. Write down 3 reasons you do not have all the things you want.

We all have those points in our life that we credit for our current path. The sorority that didn’t accept you, the harsh words from your parents, the team we didn’t get pick to be on.  How current are those stories in your life today? Can you readily tell 3 of them? Do you use them to delight your friends, thus keeping their power alive?

3. Write down 3 things you really want.

Can you come up with 3 things you really want? Most people can’t immediately articulate 3 things when asked.  They either offer some vague notion of an outcome or just say, “I don’t know” when asked.

4. Write down 3 things you could do this week to make your dreams come true.

All major projects are made up of many small steps. Break down your big dreams into small steps and list 3 that you can do this week. Focus on what you can do and do it. These actions will keep you on track.

How did you do? Were you able to determine where your thoughts are leading you?

Now is the time to give up those things that bring you down. It is as if you are walking through your life with heavy metal chains dragging you down. Let go of these things so you have a free hand to grab onto the things that make you feel as if you are floating. If you are having trouble letting go, then seek the help of a life coach, counselor or some other professional.

[This article is a reprint of my August 2012 Living Well column in Natural Triad.]

Watch the inspirational video below. You will be amazed at what is possible when you watch this man’s transformation from giving up on himself to giving up on his perceived limitations.

Please leave me a comment on your thoughts. Thanks!

Technorati Tags: change, dreams, give up, giving up, transition, weight loss, yoga

Summer Fun-O-Meter Quiz

Are you having fun yet? Take this quiz to see how your summer fun is shaping up. Also below this post there is my Top 10 List of fun things you can do this summer if you’re stumped. Enjoy!

Summer Fun-O-Meter Quiz

By: Donna Burick

“Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it ~ Russell Baker

“Summer afternoon—summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.” ~ Henry James

“I almost wish we were butterflies and liv’d but three summer days – three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain.” ~ John Keats

Here we are in midsummer and I have to ask – are we having fun yet? We love the energy of summer because it’s ripe with so many opportunities to have a great time. So let’s greet the heat with as much enthusiasm as we can muster and revert to treating this summer like we are back at camp.

What were your favorite summer memories? Was it eating hot dogs at a baseball game? Did you know that the average person eats 60 hotdogs a year. In fact, during the average summer festival in America, 5 tons of hotdogs, 20 gallons of mustard, 930 pounds of onions, 125 gallons pickles, 40 gallons of ketchup, and more than 3,000 rolls are consumed.

Or maybe it was sitting on the porch waiting with great anticipation as your family cranked out homemade ice cream. While you might think kids ages 2-12 eat the most ice cream apparently older adults (ages 45 and up) eat just as much! There is something special about sharing ice cream outdoors with someone you love and you will be glad to know that scientists have discovered that it takes about 50 licks to eat a single scoop ice cream cone. Maybe it’s not as calorie negative as celery, but at least there is some effort expended – so eat a scoop guilt free.

What summer activities that you so loved as a child can you bring back into your daily life? Make sure you are intentionally having some fun this summer. Recapture that carefree summer attitude.

To help get your mindset pointed in the right direction, I created this Summer Fun-O-Meter Quiz. Each answer is weighted with fun-meter points so you can see where you are on the fun scale.

1. It’s 8pm on a Wednesday night and still light outside. Are you thinking about:

1. Going to bed early, pulling the shades and catching up on those episodes of Grey’s Anatomy you TiVo’d?
2. Sitting down at your computer to play Farmville on Facebook?
3. Pouring a second glass of wine and sitting on your back deck to watch the sunset?
4. Breaking out some sidewalk chalk and spending some creative time outside.

If you answered A or B then you are not taking advantage of all the summer fun available to you. By staying inside and not doing something different than any other day you are not maxing out your fun-meter.  Now C is a good answer but there is no activity or creativity involved. Plus, that second glass of wine might disrupt your sleep, making you less likely to have the energy to make the most out the next day. C is the answer that maxes out your summer fun possibilities. When is the last time you drew on a sidewalk? You are getting some vitamin D in your system and being creative all at the same time!

2. It’s 7am on Saturday morning. Are you:

1. Shutting off your alarm so you can roll over for a few more hours of sleep?
2. Dragging yourself out of bed, dreading your mile long to do list?
3. Waking up with no plans?
4. On your way downtown to go to the Farmer’s Market.

Now, sleep is a precious gift but studies have shown that by upsetting your sleep routine on weekends you make it harder to be alert the first few days of the week. It is better to stay within the same bedtime & waking time to keep your body in a rhythm. Also, that’s the thing you do in Winter. Summer is begging you to get up and out. As for B, it’s good that you have things you want to accomplish but all work and no play is really dull!! Make sure you plan some fun into each day so the things you have to do are sandwiched between things you want to do. As for C, spontaneity is great but less gets done when it is not planned. You don’t have to have your weekend scheduled down to the minute but without a guide it is easy to get lost. So D has the most fun-meter juice. Get out of bed and start your day with a fun summer activity. Buy some local fruits & vegetables, see old friends and jump start your day.

3. It’s 3pm on Sunday afternoon. Are you:

1. Dozing off in front of the TV or on Facebook?
2. Grocery Shopping?
3. Walking in the park?
4. On the lawn with some friends having a picnic at a Sunday Music in the Park concert?

At the risk of repeating myself, summer is all about getting up, out and going. This is the time to do creative, active, fun things. So, cross A off your list. As for B, I know we all have to shop sometime, but the point is to make sure you intentionally structure your time to maximize all the fun things available to you this summer. Shop in an off time so that you really make the most of your day. So, B needs to be rescheduled. Answer C is a great one, but it is solitary. It’s fantastic to get outside an commune with nature, but just not all the time. Balance is the key here. So D has all the most fun-meter points. You are outside, doing a special summer thing, listening to great free music & enjoying the company of friends. An all-round splendid rejuvenating activity.

I know it’s hot, and the kids are probably starting to get bored and underfoot, but we are only half-way through the summer! Therefore, you can keep doing the same thing or you can reorganize your thinking and make this summer the best one ever! Be intentional about your time and energy.

Plan fun activities, go fun places and just really enjoy the special gifts this time of year brings. There are many fun, free things going on so seek them out. Reach back into your memory and recapture some of those things that made you smile when you were younger. Just get up, out and going.

[The article above is a reprint of my July 2012 Living Well column in Natural Triad.]

Top 10 Summer Fun Activities

1. Blow Bubbles – there is just something really playful about this activity!
2. Pick Berries and then make something fun with them.
3. Stargaze.
4. Watch a fireworks display.
5. Lie on your back and pick out interesting cloud shapes.
6. Build a fire and roast marshmallows.
7. Create cupcake planters. http://www.whimsy-love.com/2009/04/cupcake-planter-tutorial.html
8. Play tourist in your hometown.
9. Grab a friend and a camera and get silly. For example, take a picture of yourself lounging in from of a fountain like a Greek goddess.
10. Make stepping-stones for your garden or yard.

Bonus: Tie-dye shirts, create fun summer drinks, or plan a scavenger hunt for your friends.

Most of all just get out there and have some fun – the kind that includes lots of laughter and maybe a sprinkler.

Please leave me a comment about your favorite summer activity or favorite summer childhood memory.

Technorati Tags: fun, personal life coaching, quiz, summer, Whole Life Coaching

The Days Are Long But The Years Are Short

As my son crossed the stage to receive his diploma I was reminded of this very true adage about parenting: some of the days really can be long but all of the years are most certainly short!

It is so important to keep this perspective. It’s so easy to slip into the frustrations of today or to overlook the gift each year of childhood brings.

Remember when they were learning to walk? Or the first time they experienced snow? Remember potty training? Or that art project they so proudly brought home for Mother’s Day? How about that year of learning to drive? That was a tricky time.

But how did this day arrive so quickly – the day my son is done with high school, and a few short weeks away from leaving for college?

We have traveled together from a baby, to a boy, to a teenager and now he’s a man. I wouldn’t trade one minute of the journey for anything – the good, the bad and the ugly are all precious to me because it has brought us here, together.

Here is a great video telling one woman’s discovery of this principle. What’s your perspective? Does this resonate with you?

Technorati Tags: Graduation, holistic coaching, parenting, teenagers, Whole Life Coaching

The Art of Telling a New Story

[ This is a reprint of my June 2012 article in the Natural Triad Magazine. Please take a few minutes and watch the most amazing video, at the bottom of this post, showing the transformative power of telling yourself a new story of who you are.]

The Art of Telling a New Story

By: Donna Burick

Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it.  - Marianne Williamson

Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, the power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, truly are powerless, because they cannot think new thoughts. —Salman Rushdie

If you keep telling the same sad small story, you will keep living the same sad small life. —Jean Houston

Many people don’t realize the extent to which stories influence our behavior and even shape our culture. Think about how Bible stories teach the fundamentals of religion and rules of conduct. Think of the fables and parables that molded your values. Think of how stories about your national, cultural or family history have shaped your attitudes about yourself and others. —Lawrence Shapiro, in How to Raise a Child with a High EQ: A Parents’ Guide to Emotional Intelligence

Imagine yourself as an old peasant, walking down the road with a very heavy bag slung over your shoulder. As you go down the dusty road this bag causes you to stoop over as you perch it on your back. Although this bag is heavy and awkward you cling to it because it contains all your life stories. The thought of leaving it behind is terrifying. What if you come to a point in the road and you need to make a choice? How would you navigate it without pulling out an old story? What if you are traveling alongside a partner? Could you interact with them without the aid of these heavy memories as your guide?

Not only can you navigate your life more easily without clinging to this old bag of tales but the only way to go through life with ease is to let it go. However, you need to replace it with something else – nature abhors a vacuum. Therefore, it is time you learn the art of telling new stories.

The first step in learning to tell a new story is to realize that the stories you’ve carried for so long as “Truth” are not. They are memories, stories you’ve told yourself & others and as such they are altered each time you recall or retell them. This is a natural process that the mind goes through every time we pull things from one time point into another time point. The act of placing it in the present now alters it. As Dr. Nate Kornell explains in Psychology Today:

“Police have to be very careful when questioning witnesses. They basically treat a witness’s memory like a crime scene: once you go over it a single time, it’s irreversibly disturbed. For example, asking a biased question, even unintentionally, can make a witness tell their story a little differently. Doing so doesn’t just change the story; it changes the witness’s memory, permanently and irreversibly. And this isn’t just true of witnesses. The more we tell stories, the more our memories change.”

Let this thought really marinate with you. What possibilities open up if the very things we look to as life shaping events can be viewed as inaccurate? Well, if they are not empowering, life affirming stories then you are free to discard them as fiction. And if you are dealing with fiction why not write your own?

If you were given the opportunity to re-write your childhood or your divorce how would you reframe it? Can you write a funny or affirming account of these life events? Play at this game for a while and see what the effects are on your psyche.

For example, if you grew up in a poor family who struggled with the burden of having not enough of anything, revisit your childhood through the eyes of a princess growing up in an opulent castle surrounded by many beautiful things. Then shift into today and see how this new story affects your feelings toward money.

Or perhaps you are carrying many scars from a bitter divorce. What if you closed you eyes and saw yourself sitting with your ex-partner at an outdoor café and heard your voice say, “Thanks for the many wonderful memories. We had some really good times but I now release us both to go forth and see what other wonderful adventures await us as we interact with new partners.” And then hear them say, “You are so right. I really appreciate the time we spent together. I bless you and release you to create a new and wonderful leg of your life journey.”

By re-scripting your last scene you rewire your emotional state. This is so important because we create what is in our present experience from the vantage point of our emotions. For example, on days you wake up excited everything seems to flow but on the days you wake up frustrated then everything and everyone annoys you. Your outer world has not dramatically changed, only your inner interpretation of the events or story has shifted.

You may have resistance to this exercise because you believe you have proof that these bad memories occurred. However, this exercise is not asking you to not trust yourself. The purpose of re-writing your stories is to allow in the possibilities of personal growth by removing the painful aspects of your stories so their lessons can shine through. But what if you bump up against resistance or can’t seem to re-write these events? Reach out and ask for help. There are many professional techniques that can disengage the painful active memories in your life.

So in the spirit of summer, unleash your inner child and play with this idea. Recreate your memories as fairy tales or maybe sci-fi thrillers with you having all kinds of cool super powers. Your reality is all within your control. Since you experience your past in the now, by changing your past you shift your present and redirect the course of your future. These new positive thoughts magnetize your vibrations to bring in other good thoughts and outcomes, thus creating a snowball effect of better and better stories that will play out in your future.

Please watch this amazing video and see the transformative power of telling yourself a new story:

Technorati Tags: holistic coaching, law of attraction, Life Changes, personal life coaching, transition, Whole Life Coaching

What I Appreciate Most About Losing the Vote on Amendment One

On Tuesday, May 8^th, Amendment One passed in NC. I voted against Amendment One, but my greatest concern is not that it passed, but how my son has reacted to its passing. By losing the vote on Amendment One I have been given the gift of being able to teach my children tolerance and respect.

Einstein said you can’t solve a problem with the same mindset that created it. Therefore, I believe that the way to approach the passing of this amendment is with great appreciation. Why? Because that is the only way to create the space needed for a new possibility to emerge. If we are against people who are against us, then how are we any different from them? We are the same; and it is from this acknowledgement that we are one that compassion and appreciation can blossom. If I am hurting another then I am hurting myself.

So, this is how I’ve approached the passing of Amendment One. I have made a list of all this positive things that this bill has created that were not there before it’s conception. Here’s my list:

1. I have witnessed very strong & broad coalitions of people that spans age, race & religious beliefs all united together in their support of equal rights for all.
2. This bill has brought the topic of equal rights to our everyday conversations these past few months and so the vibration around change has been accelerated.
3. But most importantly this bill has given me a platform to teach my children the most significant lesson of all; if you want others to appreciate and accept you then you must appreciate and accept them – especially if they are very different than you.

My son feels passionate about equal rights for all and he was very anti-Amendment One. He has spent hours on Facebook in heated exchanges with people who have differing views. But it is my belief that what you resist persists, so this is how I responded to my son when he asked me why I was not raging about the passing of Amendment One:

“I think it is great that this issue has gotten so much attention. This vote has really activated the energy of discussion around equal rights. I think that even though I do not agree with those who supported this Amendment, I must respect their views if I expect them to respect mine.  I believe that asking the majority to vote on minority issues is not the most effective way to create change, so I am imagining a newer outcome; one in which the Federal Government steps in and extends rights to all citizens equally.”

I responded this way because I believe in order for circumstances to change there is a two-step process that must happen. First, I must appreciate what is because I can not create something positive with negative energy. Secondly, I must vividly imagine my desired outcome as if it has already happened, trusting that the events leading to that outcome will fall into place. Now, you may think this is all new age fluff, but this morning the top news story is that President Obama came out in support of gay marriage! Coincidence? I think not!

So join me in my vision of our country being a place where all people have the equality, love, respect and appreciation they deserve. Whenever you are reminded about the lack of any of these things, take a moment to imagine it differently and soon enough together we will make it so!

Please pass this post along to others so our foundation of support for this new, better feeling place can manifest more quickly.

Blessings,

Donna

Technorati Tags: Amendment One, Coaching Personal Transition, Equal Rights, law of attraction, personal life coaching, transition

Are Your Positive Thoughts Making You Feel Bad?

[This is a reprint of my article in the May 2012 Natural Triad magazine.]

Are Your Positive Thoughts Making You Feel Bad?

By: Donna Burick

One must marry one’s feelings to one’s beliefs and ideas. That is probably the only way to achieve a measure of harmony in one’s life. Napoleon Hill

Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance. Brian Tracy

Our minds are like a vast universe fueled by the dark matter that are our thoughts. They are tricky, sticky, funny, uplifting, inspirational, devastating and crippling. We give our thoughts too much credit. We believe they are our guides but in reality, our feelings are our true guides.

How We “Head” Into Trouble

Anytime we are led by our head we are “headed” for trouble. You see it is our ideas & beliefs that create our problems. You know that on some level – your gut level. Let me explain.  Our thoughts are so tricky that even the “good” ones like, “I want to accomplish something important in my life time” or “I want to discover my life purpose” can be very self-destructive. I would even say they can be as damaging, if not more, than the ones we acknowledge are damaging like “I’m so stupid” or “I can’t believe I did it again”. The way you know these are the same is by the way you feel.

Your feelings are your true guidance system. If thoughts are making you feel “bad” in any way then they are damaging. Don’t be fooled by their false positiveness like those referenced above. It doesn’t matter what the thought is, just how it makes you feel. So, if the thought that you want to do something important in your lifetime excites & motives you then it’s a good thought. However, I’ve seen that very thought paralyze and degrade otherwise bright, talented people. Same thought two different feelings.

My Personal Challenge

Here is an example from my own life. My youngest son has developed a new habit of leaving his shirt on his bathroom floor every morning. He is a teenager so he’s very tired in the morning and after his shower he just can’t seem to remember to pick it up when he leaves the bathroom.

This new habit of his was very stressful for me. I was annoyed that every week there would be 5 or 6 “invisible” shirts on the floor. I assumed that as they built up they would be more noticeable or maybe perhaps when he went in the bathroom in the afternoon or evening then he might notice them then and pick them up. Sadly, no. None of these things took place. They seemed reasonable assumptions on my part but they are apparently utterly foreign to my beloved offspring.

As this trend continued and I made repeated attempts at correcting this behavior to no avail, my anger & frustration grew.  This small issue was growing and consuming my energy and attention. Every time I walked past his bathroom and saw another infraction, I had a negative emotional reaction. What irked me most of all is my son’s unwillingness to understand how monumental this issue really was. To my utter amazement, to him this was just no big deal. Which of course set me off on another tirade all by itself.

My Ah-Ha Moment

I was talking about this struggle I was having (and it is important to note only I was having it – the only struggle my son was having was with me & my ever increasing reactions) and a close friend of mine said to me, “Maybe that’s just his personality. Perhaps you should just let it go and not make such a big deal about it.” I just stood there with my mouth open. I was stunned. If it had been a movie there would have been a quelling of music in the background. I started laughing. She of course was right. I had become a prisoner of my thoughts. Thoughts I was sure were positive, good & right but were making me feel bad. I believed that I was helping my son by training him to not leave his clothes in the bathroom. I did the natural thing and had played it all the way out, reassuring myself that I was saving him from eminent disaster in later life by keeping him from divorce because he was totally incapable of picking up his dirty clothes off the floor. He’s only 14. Perhaps he might just grow out of it – even without my “help”.

I got so wrapped up in my thoughts I forgot to use my guidance system to check in with myself. My feelings of anger & irritation were my flags that something was off, yet I overrode them by reassuring myself that I was right. But I heeded the old adage, “You can be right or happy, chose one.” I changed course and went with happy.

Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family. Virginia Satir

Change Your Mind & Everything Changes

His clothes still adorn the bathroom floor and I still walk past and shake my head, but now I do it with a little smile. Nothing has changed except the way I think about the situation. My new mantra is “Isn’t he so cute.” I now focus my thoughts on the things I adore about my son and I notice I am getting more of those things from him instead of the resistance and struggle brought out by my last stance.

The Universe is made up of wonderful checks and balances and your Mind/Body connection is one of those miracles. Our lives have become full of distractions & disconnects. But the more you can open that channel the more grounded and magical your daily life can become.

The first step is to consciously begin tying the two together. When you are feeling discomfort in your body ask yourself, “What is the thought I was just thinking?” In turn, as you listen to your mind chatter, pause for a moment, drop into your body and ask yourself, “How does this make me feel?” These exercises will help unblock your Mind/Body connection.

Be Wary of the Serpent in Designer Clothing

Overtly negative thoughts are easy to spot, but be on the lookout for the ones that seem positive but elicit “bad” feelings. It is very easy to ignore the guidance of these feelings and overwrite them with the intellectual idea that our Mind knows best. This is where the insidiously tricky, stickiness of our thoughts get us. It’s like having the President fire the Congress and the Supreme Court and appoint himself to be his own set of checks & balances. We would be all up in arms if that happened; yet we let our thoughts convince us that they know what’s best. If you listen very closely you might even catch the slight hissing sound that rolls off the serpent’s tongue when you hear that inner voice whisper, “Trust me, you are in the right.”

You Already Have the Answer

So for those of you who are struggling with the idea that you want to find your life purpose and/or want to accomplish something important here’s your answer. You are already fulfilling your life’s purpose every time you laugh, or connect with someone or love or feel good. Just as you are already accomplishing something important just by adding your unique imprint on the Universe.

Your purpose is to be in love with you. There is no greater gift you can give to the world because only you can give it. That’s why it is also your biggest, most important accomplishment. Your uniqueness is the accomplishment – it is an accomplishment of being not doing. So be the most wonderful version of yourself possible and feel your emotional guidance system give your new way of thinking a standing ovation.

Here is a very interesting video from Mooji discussing this topic:

Technorati Tags: Coaching Personal Transition, depression, Energy Therapy Healing, law of attraction, personal life coaching, transition, Whole Life Coaching

The Power of Signs

I am a big believer in signs. Whenever I have something on my mind or I need to make a decision, I know there will be signs to help me. But the trick is knowing what to look for and then knowing what to do once you find them.

The thing about signs is they can come from anywhere. They can be small and subtle or very dramatic! It can be as simple as a song on the radio, a comment from a friend or an event that you witness.

Recently I was having an interaction with my 14 year old son. I wanted him to use his time over the long MLK weekend one way and he had a totally different agenda. He had some homework that was due on Tuesday and I wanted him to get it done early on and then have the rest of the weekend free. He wanted to plan out his whole time, decide how much time he needed to do the assignments and then work them in during blocks of time when there was no football on TV and/or no other friends to hang out with.

Needless to say, our different ideas about how he should spend his time created some very charged interactions. So early on in the weekend I was thinking about our relationship and wondering if my approach of wanting to micro-manage him was in fact the correct choice. It made me feel better but was it really the correct thing for him?

So I put it out to the Universe to help me understand which way to go with this situation and that I needed a sign to give me clarity. Not too long after that I did what I usally do when I need clarity and went for a walk. As I was walking through some wooded areas in my neighborhood I spotted a hawk at the top of a very tall tree. I noticed the hawk and went on, thinking nothing about it.

About 30 minutes later I looked up from my desk and saw that the hawk was right outside my back door, perched on my deck railing. There sat this big, beautiful bird right outside my window just looking at me. Once it had my attention it jumped down to the ground and allowed me to get within a few feet from it and then it soared away. It didn’t even hardly flap its powerful wings. It just glided away almost effortlessly.

Well, I was pretty sure that was the sign I’d asked for since I have never in my life seen a hawk up close and personal. And of course it did come right up to my back door just so I wouldn’t miss that the sign was meant for me.

So the question became, now what? What does this all mean for my dilemma? Well, the first thing I did was go to my signs book and look up the meaning of a hawk. Hawks are messengers, symbolizing the ability to take a big picture view. So, I had to ask myself, I am really serving us both with my decision to micro-manage my son’s time? If I take a big picture view what would that look like in this situation? If I step back and allow him the freedom to manage his own time, what’s the worst that could happen?

This self-reflection helped me take a different, more empowering tact for both of us. I gave him the list of what needed to be accomplished, the deadline it all had to be done by and the consequences of not meeting the deadline. Beyond that I told him he had complete control over how he spent his time and that I trusted in his success.

He rose to the occasion and had everything completed with 2 hours to spare. He worked out what he needed to do and what he wanted to do and figured out how to balance the two. My new stance took the pressure off me because I was using my mental energy to keep him on task and then when we were together I was directing his activities instead of enjoying his company.

Thanks to my hawk friend I know we both learned some valuable lessons. My son learned that I am able to trust him to be responsible and I learned that I need to be watchful for more opportunities that allow him to spread his wings and soar.

So look for signs in your life. They are there to help you find your way. The Universe is always lining everything up in your favor, you just need to be open to the messages.

Blessings,
Donna

Technorati Tags: greensboro, law of attraction, parenting, personal life coaching, signs, symbols, teenagers, Whole Life Coaching

New Year New You

New Year New You

5 Easy Ways to Make Lasting Change

With the New Year upon us it is time again to make those resolutions. However, why don’t you do it differently in 2012? Instead of resolutions, just decide on some SHIFTS you’d like to make in your life.

Here is an easy 5 step process for creating SHIFTS that move you toward what you are wanting.

S – Start small. Create baby steps toward you ultimate goal. Smaller bites are easier to chew and with small successes, you are more likely to keep these changes in place. Reward yourself for the actions you take rather than using progress as your barometer.

H – Help is not a bad thing. No one said you need to do it all by yourself for it to count. Seek out a support system, enlist a coach or grab a buddy. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself in alignment with what you want.

I – Intention is a powerful motivator. Uncover the powerful reason why you are making these changes. Keep a daily journal of your “Why’s” to help keep you motivated.

F – Forget your “shoulds”. It should be happening faster, you should be doing it better, etc. If you stumble or stray from your new path, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on track. No judgment, just keep going forward.

T – Think in terms of what you’d like to add to your life rather than what you’d like to take away. Focusing on your positive outcomes is a much more powerful motivator.

S – Self-Celebrate. The reason you want to make changes is because you want your life to be better. However, enjoy your life as it is today while working forward to a new you. This way the journey is pleasurable and you aren’t just waiting for the destination.

If you’d like some additional information about making new lifestyle changes this year, please see my article in the Natural Triad online magazine, 12 Lifestyle Changes for 2012.

Happy New Year!

Many Blessings,
Donna

Technorati Tags: 2012, abundance, Coaching Personal Transition, holistic coaching, Life Changes, new year's, personal life coaching, Whole Life Coaching

Welcome to Our Feast of Love

Recently I was at a wedding reception and one of my 8-year-old nephews decided to give a toast. He saw that the adults were all standing up and saying things so he thought he’d join in. So, he stood right up, paused a minute and said, “Welcome family and friends to our feast of love”.

I thought this was probably the best wedding reception toast I’d ever heard. But aren’t all family gathering supposed to be a feast of love?

As you are busy these next few days either preparing for company or traveling, pause for a moment and connect with the idea that you are sharing in a love feast.  Make this Thanksgiving one filled with gratitude for the love that is so abundant in your life.

Here is a gratitude poem I came across and wanted to share it with you. I’m using it as my mantra this holiday season.

Blessings to you and your loved ones,

Donna

Be Thankful
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
~ Author Unknown ~

Technorati Tags: abundance, gratitude, holistic coaching, Thanksgiving, Whole Life Coaching