Have you ever been in a lousy situation and one of your friends, who was only trying to be helpful, said something silly like, “It’s all good”, or maybe worse yet, “Make the best of it”? Didn’t you just see red?
That’s because your friend was reaching out to you on the same level as your problem. You don’t find any transformation when you are mired in muck. You need to get up, wash off, and walk away from the muck pit in order to experience a different state.
But here’s the big kicker – just leaving your bad situation is not transformation, it’s change. And the difference between the two will rock your life!
A Typical Client Scenario
I’m going to illustrate this process using a scenario I see a lot: someone comes to me because they are unhappy with their job. But feel free dear reader to substitute any situation you are unhappy with so this speaks to you directly.
So typically someone walks in and talks about how much they hate their job, how the boss is unreasonable, their co-workers are not doing what they are supposed to, and that basically it’s an all round terrible situation. So they are going to quit. And they came for their appointment to work out the juiciest way to walk out at the end of the day because they are totally fed up!
Have you ever been in a situation like this? One in which you were at your breaking point and so you made a change?
Why I Talk Them Off the Ledge
Here’s the problem with change, it’s a short-term band-aid that only covers the wound. And some wounds fester when covered, so you end up down the road with a growing, infected wound that begins to take up more and more space in your life. But at the time it seemed like a solution instead of the quagmire it really is.
How to Create Transformation
Change is very surface, however transformation completely shifts a situation into a new experience.
So, if my client had just quit this job in their same mental state then these problems would manifest in her next job, eventually. Sometimes even worse. That’s why sometimes life feels like a hamster wheel comprised of the same type of people and issues.
Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt like you’ve been in relationship with the same type of person over & over? Or you’ve had one bad workplace after another?
That’s because you’ve made changes but nothing has been transformed.
So here is the advice I give my clients. Love what is even if it’s crappy right now.
And here is how you actually do that:
- Mentally thank your job for helping you sort out what you don’t want so you can more clearly attract what you do want.
- Mentally thank your job for paying you while you search for something better.
- Notice what part you are playing in the “my job is awful” drama and shift your involvement.
- Question your assumptions. Is your boss really ignoring you or has he just been busy? If some of your co-workers are negative and hard to be around can you just detach from their story and focus on things that move you toward where you want to go?
- Decide you deserve better and begin to take action.
How You Can Have Real Joy Right Where You Are
Transformation is based on your mid-set. Once you shift that then everything else shifts. And the really big bonus about transformation is that places everything back in your control. You can’t control the actions of your boss, you can’t control who your co-workers are, and you can’t control the commute, the company car, or any other factor associated with your job.
But you can control how you frame them, how you feel about them, and how you show up everyday. And that’s where you can harness the awesome power of transformation for your life!
If you are in a stuck spot and would like to transform your life, I’d love to help you through this process. You’ll be amazed at how much joy is waiting for you on the other side of your pain.
I love to hear your comments and stories, so please share your thoughts below. Or give me a call at 336-540-0088. Thanks so much for your participation.