Stop Holding Yourself Hostage Part 2 ~ Align With Your Inner Impact

“You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won’t discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming and caging and fearing yourself. ”  ~ Geneen Roth

“If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.” ~ Anita Roddick


What If Everything You Thought About Your Impact Was Inaccurate?

Last month we discussed how your inner vision of who you presented yourself to be was a greatly diminished version of who you really are. If you’d like to go back and read last month’s article go to for the October 2013 issue or go to my blog at and then click on the blog tab.

This month we want to continue our discussion of how you entrap yourself by examining the disconnect between the impact you think you have and the impact you really have.

Have You Ever Been Wrong?

When is the last time you’ve been wrong about something? Here’s the process: you are sure of a piece of information, you totally believe in it and even talk about it with confidence, then some new idea or information comes to you and it shifts what you thought you knew and now you believe something else. This is not a mistake; it’s just the process of growth. So please keep an open mind when it comes to you and your impact in this world.

Your Power Scares You More Than Your Lack

Marianne Williamson did the most exquisite job of explaining why we all diminish our self-notion of the impact we have. Here is how she expressed it in her poem, Our Deepest Fear:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”


The thing that attracts me to this poem most is her clarity of not only why we diminsh ourselves, but also the damage it does to those we come in contact with.

Ever Wish You Could Just Snap Out Of It?

Motivation is a funny thing. If this was a sales training you’d be told to get in touch with your “Big Why”. That part of you that you think you are doing all this for. But that’s a surface position. I can say that with certantiy because I have seen people who are crystal clear on their “Big Why” still fail.

To dig deeper you need to tap into your “I Am” to see what is really behind your daily thoughts and actions.

Try this quick excersise: Take out a sheet of paper and write “I Am” on the top and then list all the things that immediately spring to mind that describe you. Go on – ok at least do it mentally right now before reading more – the things which spring to mind first are important so really take 10 seconds and do this.

Now look over your list and see which category you fall into.

I Am My Roles – Did you make a list of your different roles? You know, mother, wife, teacher, friend, sister, etc??

If you are in this category then your most predominate way of assesing yourself is by how well you think you are doing your “jobs”.

I Am Far From Perfect – Did you list 85% or greater negitive things about yourself? You know what I’m talking about, too fat, not smart, angry, critical, in a dead end job, etc??

If you are in this category then you have a very well-developed “inner meanie”. That’s that inner vioce who thinks the best way to protect you from any harm is to hurt yorself first, so no one else can beat you to it.

I Am Realistic – Did you put down some good things about yourself but wanted to make sure and pepper some negitive things too, just to be realistc?  You know, you said kind but what you really meant was unable to say no so you get overwhelmed easily, and then you said funny but then you quickly put down a little overweight because you didn’t want to seem too egotistc?

This is the hardest category to be in because it seems, well so real. This push-me pull-me just keeps you spinning in place so you can’t move forward. It’s psychological ping-pong and yet it is so easy to rationalize because it feels right somehow.

I Am Fantastic – Did you have a handy list of great things to say about yourself that were actually about your essence not your acomplishments?  Things like smart, comfortable with myself, cheerful, compassionate, and happy?

If you’re in this category congratulations – you are in a small group of people who don’t feel a driving need to squash their light.

Use Your Inner Light to Illuminate Your Path

The good news is that your inner vision was installed to help you. Even if the outward manifestion of its guidance is not what you want right now, its intentions are good. So embrace that part of you and say, “Thank you for all your love and protection”. Awareness is the first step in all personal journeys. From here you can go about acknowledging your inner guidance and redirecting it when needed so you begin to outwardly manifest from a place of centered clarity.

You impact everyone you come into contact with. So to think you are playing small is an illusion. Since the reality is you do eminate power, the question for you is do you want to use your powers for good or not?

I honor your impact and I am grateful for our connection. I am looking forward to contuning our discussion next month, when we dive into the ways we hold ourselves hostage with our inner expectations.



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Donna Burick

Desire a results-oriented holistic solution? Do you yearn to: Create more balance in your life? Stop feeling so exhausted: Uncover your life’s passion; Attain clarity about what’s next for you; Revive your relationships; Craft a deeper spiritual connection; Access a place of health & happiness? Donna can guide you from here to there, call for your free 15-minute phone consultation and discover a different approach, 336.540.0088. Office in Greensboro or phone sessions available.

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Transformational Services by Donna Burick
Board Certified Coach,  Master Certified Coach, and Certified Group Coach.

© 2020 Donna Burick. All Rights Reserved.
View Terms of Use
Made with ❤ by Heart Light Digital

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