“I work really hard at trying to see the big picture and not getting stuck in ego. I believe we’re all put on this planet for a purpose, and we all have a different purpose… When you connect with that love and that compassion, that’s when everything unfolds.” ~ Ellen DeGeneres
“We have magnificent brains, but we use a great deal of our brilliance to keep ourselves stuck and ignorant, to keep ourselves from not shining. We are so afraid of our beauty and radiance and brilliance because it scared the adults around us when we were children.” ~ Patricia Sun
Getting you unstuck before lunchtime is a pretty bold claim, right? Well if I’m going to make good on it we better get down to it.
But before we solve this dilemma, let’s define it. What is being stuck?
According to the dictionary stuck is a state of:
- Caught or held in a position so that you cannot move
- Unable to solve a problem and continue working
- In a situation that you do not like but cannot avoid
- Forced to have, use, or deal with someone or something that you do not want.
While those definitions clearly describe this state, what’s really important to you is how it makes you feel. In your real, everyday life it feels like you’re trapped; entangled in an ever tightening web that constricts tighter and tighter with every passing moment and every attempt to break free. Time is not on your side, effort is not on your side, and there seems like there is no way out.
When you are ensnared in that web you have ideas but not the energy to sustain them, you believe the ideas you do have won’t work, and you feel like nothing is going to fundamentally change anyway so why try?
You feel hopeless, confused, tired, defeated, trapped, overwhelmed, alone, lost, heavy, angry, aggressive, short-tempered, cranky, and scared.
What does it cost you to be so totally entrapped? Only all your creativity, joy, freedom, choice, expansion, aliveness, connection, growth, energy, enthusiasm, and clarity. Being stuck basically sucks the life out of your life.
So now that we’ve established how yucky being stuck feels, let’s turn everything around. Here is a three-step process you can use to finally get unstuck – no matter how long you’ve been struggling!
Nothing Happens Until You Decide
“Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case it’s no longer a mistake. If you remain stuck, you learn nothing.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
So how can I make such a bold claim in my title and feel like I can deliver?
Here is the golden nugget; nothing happens until you decide and when you do decide then transformation is available to you in an instant.
Here’s an illustration of this point.
Place a pen in your hand. Stand up and hold your arm out in front of you.
First of all I want that pen to be stuck in your hand so do nothing but hold it tight.
When you get tired of that then try to drop it next. Notice that when you try to drop it you don’t actually drop it.
When nothing happens after that, decide to let it go by opening your hand and letting it fall to the ground.
You see it doesn’t take any longer to let it fall to the ground if you’ve been holding it for 1 second or 15 minutes or 20 years. Once you decide to do it and act on that decision transformation is available to you in that instant. So with your participation we can get you unstuck before lunchtime today.
Release the burden of thinking that problems that have been with you a long time are harder to break free from and renew your enthusiasm for creating something wonderful in your life.
Decide to make a change and commit to taking action, no matter how small.
What You Don’t Know is Infinitely More Important
Than What You Do Know
“One day, right after my mastectomy, I went for a walk in Central Park, and there was this mob of people blocking the road. I thought, ‘Oh, great, now I’m stuck!’ but then I suddenly realized that it was a breast cancer walk.” ~ Hoda Kotb
Your best thinking has gotten you here.
Here is the golden nugget; as long as you are committed to staying confined in what you think you know then you are stuck. Once you open up to what you don’t even know you don’t know then you can bust free. (You might want to re-read that last sentence – it’s a mind-buster.)
The way you access what you don’t know is through questions. You see our own thinking traps us all. Our minds are wired to make associations and this pattern runs an autopilot program of dragging what we already know (i.e. our past experiences, thoughts and outcomes) into our future (i.e. our new ideas, choices and behaviors we want in our life).
So, by relying on what you already know you cannot help but repeat the same old patterned outcomes as before. And you don’t even know you are in control of that because it is such a stealth program in your life.
So to break free you must ask questions like, “What’s going on here?”, How can I make this easier or more fun?”, “What can I do to shift this right now?”.
Ask empowering questions. Questions which allow you to trust your intuition and create new outcomes so your past patterns aren’t just repeated over & over again.
Allow Someone to Throw You a Line and
Help Pull You Out of Your Muck
“The worst thing that can happen is if you’re stuck within a bubble and you think that is what life is all about. It’s great to see other people and hear from people of different ages and opinions.” ~ Alber Elbaz
When we are stuck our thinking gets fuzzy and even things that normally would make sense we tend to forget, and asking for help is on that list.
Here’s the golden nugget; your “I’ll figure it out for myself” zone is nothing but a deadly trap. The one thing that “being stuck” needs more than anything is for you to think you must go it alone. The moment you bring someone else’s fresh perspective into the mix then an opening is created and “being stuck” loses its totalitarian hold on you.
Did you know that a new study at the University of Louisville discovered that figuring things out yourself takes longer, with far less accurate results, than observing and communicating with others in the know. Interacting with experts — and asking them for their expertise — results in a faster, richer learning curve.
Call someone you trust, admire, or has an expertise for help. Ask them to examine your questions, fears, and assumptions, allow them to explore new ways of viewing your situation, and even ask them to help brainstorm new possibilities for you. The most important aspect of asking for help is the crack it creates in the concrete of “being stuck”.
“Think about a seed. Once it lands, it’s stuck. It can’t move to find better soil, moisture or sunlight. It’s able to create every part of itself to grow and reproduce with the help of air, water and sun.” ~ David Suzuki
Your assignment, if you choose to accept it, is to do these three steps before lunch today. Pick an area in your life you want to get unstuck. Decide you are going to take action. Jot down some open ended questions about this area of your life. And most importantly, call someone for help. They can help ask questions you didn’t think of. They can help you stay committed to the actions you decided upon. They can loosen the grip that “being stuck” has on your life and assist in setting you free
And always remember, I’m just a phone call away if you need my support.