Does Your BUT Make Your Life Look Too Small?


but“In truth, the only restrictions on our capacity to astonish ourselves and each other are imposed by our own minds.” David Blaine

“Happiness is not an ideal of reason, but of imagination.” Immanuel Kant


Let’s discuss constriction and how it is strangling the life out of your life. The dictionary defines constriction as a tightness or inward pressure and that inward pressure is what’s affecting the quality of your life.

So let’s take a step back and examine the origin of this constriction by asking, “If the pressure is inward how did it get there?” Well, if it’s an inward pressure then we placed it there. How else does anything get inward? Like the food we eat and the supplements we take, they get in us by our direct involvement.

The great news is since we put those constrictions in our life we can remove them. They are not dependent on changes from any outside source, person or environment in order for our shift to take place.

So, if that’s the case how do we go about flushing these constrictions out of our lives? I’m glad you asked – here is a simple 3-step process for expanding the life in your life.

Step 1 – Discover Where You’re Living Small

The first step is to discover where your constrictions live. What aspects of your life have you most constricted? Here’s a simple exercise to discover where you’ve created this restriction.

Imagine for a moment an area in your life where you feel constriction. Where you are not having all that you want, or are experiencing lack or dissatisfaction.

Usually, just by asking you to imagine this area an area pops into your mind. The answer comes quickly. However, if you did not discover any particular area then pretend and pick one. This process can only open you up to more wonderful things so any area will do!

Step 2 – Discover Your Personal Constrictions

Now that your area is chosen, get out a piece of paper and fill in these 3 statements.


I want to do/be/have ­­ ­­­­­­_________________ BUT ________________________ .


I can’t do/be/have ___________________ BECAUSE _____________________ .


The REASON I don’t/can’t/will never do/be/have ____________________ is __________________ .


Now I know some of you like to do these exercises in your head but you will really get more benefit if you actually write these down so you can examine them later. Also, for those of you sitting in your doctor’s office or somewhere public, the magazine is free so take it home and do this later. Really, they will deliver more so don’t feel bad.

Step 3 – Discover How to Break Free and Live Fully

Notice all the ways you’ve internally restricted yourself. These are all individualized to just you. If I asked 100 people to respond to the same general area of life they wouldn’t have the exact answers you do.

Yet they feel like fact, as if they are true and concrete. Here’s why:

According to the dictionary, but is used to introduce something contrasting with what has already been mentioned or used to indicate the impossibility of anything other than what is being stated.

BUT is a negator! It either derails the first part of the sentence or it dismisses the possibility of it ever happening. The only thing left after the dust settles is the negative when you use BUT. So anything positive you proclaim you want is totally obliterated when you use BUT.

BECAUSE and REASON are identical cousins. They are not totally the same but they are closely related to one another. They have a very symbiotic relationship.

BECAUSE builds itself upon the foundation of REASON. BECAUSE is defined as, for the REASON that. This foundation of REASON makes BECAUSE appear strong and real. Like, of course that makes perfect sense. However, let’s look at REASON.

REASON interestingly enough, is defined as a statement presented in justification or explanation of a belief or action. [Emphasis mine]

So REASON is a house of cards. It’s not an actual fact; it’s the justification or explanation of our belief about something.

Basically, it’s a false constriction appearing real. And they appear so real we forget to really question it or imagine other possibilities. This is all due to the fact that all 3 of these constrictions seem reasonable, they feel solid, and we get lots of assent when we share them with others.

Well my job is to swim against the tide of how your life is going to create an opening for what’s really possible for you. So when you relate all your BUTS, BECAUSES, and REASONS you won’t get from me an affirmative nod and agreement on the reality of you living a very confined life.


I know there is much more in store for you and I’m committed to you having it!


So look back over those things you wrote down as your BUTS, BECAUSES, and REASONS. Cross them off your paper.


Now start a new list, put your new possibility in these blanks as you ask yourself these questions:


How could I create _______________ in my life?


How would I feel if _____________________ happened?


Who could help me in creating ____________________ ?


Release your inner constrictions and live a full, big life. You can do it! I believe in you!


I love to hear your comments and stories, so please share your thoughts below. Thanks so much for your participation.

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Donna Burick

Donna Burick

Desire a results-oriented holistic solution? Do you yearn to: Create more balance in your life? Stop feeling so exhausted: Uncover your life’s passion; Attain clarity about what’s next for you; Revive your relationships; Craft a deeper spiritual connection; Access a place of health & happiness? Donna can guide you from here to there, call for your free 15-minute phone consultation and discover a different approach, 336.540.0088. Office in Greensboro or phone sessions available.

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Transformational Services by Donna Burick
Board Certified Coach,  Master Certified Coach, and Certified Group Coach.

© 2020 Donna Burick. All Rights Reserved.
View Terms of Use
Made with ❤ by Heart Light Digital

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