“I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.” ~ Charles R. Swindoll
Dear friends as we approach this new year I want us to travel through this year on a quest for joy. Every month we will discover a new portal for obtaining more joy in our life. I want to kick off this new year with my personal starting point of joy, a wonderful experience I had that shifted so much in my life.
Last year I had a radical transformation. I came across a new way of thinking that changed everything. And it all started with piling all my shirts on my bed and sorting them. Actually, it was a little more involved than that, but not much. I discovered Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and indeed it changed my life.
“From the moment you start tidying, you will be compelled to reset your life. As a result, your life will start to change. That’s why the task of putting your house in order should be done quickly. It allows you to confront the issues that are really important. Tidying is just a tool, not the final destination. The true goal should be to establish the lifestyle you want most once your house has been put in order.” ~ Marie Kondō, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
So here we all are at January, our clean slate month: the start of 2016. Everything has the possibility of being brand new. So this year let’s take a personal journey together and co-create a joy-full year.
“Visible mess helps distract us from the true source of the disorder.”
~ Marie Kondō, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
This month I will discuss the life-changing magic tidying up has had on my life and encourage you to discover it for yourself. For the next 11 more months of 2016 we will examine a different topic and assess how it can be used to bring joy into your life. 2016 will be a tidy package of joy-full moments for you so please join me on this enchanted journey.
My Personal Tidying Up Story
“[T]he best way to choose what to keep and what to throw away is to take each item in one’s hand and ask: “Does this spark joy?” If it does, keep it. If not, dispose of it. This is not only the simplest but also the most accurate yardstick by which to judge.”
~ Marie Kondō, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
Someone I respected told me about Marie Kondo’s book; she gushed about the difference in her life just from a few simple steps of organizing and interacting with her piles of physical stuff. It was one of those When Harry Met Sally moments and I thought, “I’ll have what she’s having, please”. So I took her advice and got the book. And more importantly, I actually read it and put the practices into action!
But I want to be real. It was not easy. The first step is to pile all your shirts on your bed and sort them. Then you move on to pants, shorts, seasonal, dress clothes, etc. The point is to take all of one thing at a time and examine each piece in order to decided to keep it or discard it. But you sort by only one criterion: “Does this item bring me joy?” Simple but not easy.
“Many people carry this type of negative self-image for years, but it is swept away the instant they experience their own perfectly clean space. This drastic change in self-perception, the belief that you can do anything if you set your mind to it, transforms behavior and lifestyles. This is precisely why my students never experience rebound. Once you have experienced the powerful impact of a perfectly ordered space, you, too, will never return to clutter.”
~ Marie Kondō, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
I wish I could tell you I breezed right through it, but that’s not true. There where moments I broke down crying, as I was totally overwhelmed. There were moments I wanted to stop because I was ashamed at the sheer number of items I had. There were also moments I was embarrassed because I had clothes I could no longer fit into and I got into a struggle with my self-esteem because of that fact.
One of the wonderful aspects of this process is it is not easy to run away from it. For example, since I had to collect all my shirts and pile them on the bed I had a mound of clothes. When I mentally slipped into negativity I could not just turn on the TV, or decide to do it later. If I had organized things in small batches like a drawer at a time, or a small section of my closet, then I would have a back door to slip out of when discomfort arose. But then I would have missed out on the most important lessons that tidying had to teach me.
“The process of assessing how you feel about the things you own, identifying those that have fulfilled their purpose, expressing your gratitude, and bidding them farewell, is really about examining your inner self, a rite of passage to a new life.”
~ Marie Kondō, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
The lesson is each of those times I had slipped out of the magic of the process I had slid into old negative beliefs. The magic is the power of being in the moment with your things and either experience appreciation for the joy they bring you or acknowledge your gratitude for the role they played in your life as you set them free. So it is a seesaw of appreciation and acknowledgment. These are the hinges that swing open the door of joy and magic in your life.
Doing this dance is the purpose. The tidying is the cherry on top. Learning that it’s ok for you to fall out of joy is the first step. By accepting this dance as a natural part of life, you can distance yourself from self-judgment. It just is, it’s not wrong and you didn’t fail. It’s just an essential part of the process. Noticing you have slid into old negativity is another good skill. The more you practice this the shorter your time in the ditch will be. And thirdly, learning how to get back on track is invaluable. Having the confidence that you can turn around your thoughts and actions will give you the power to do so.
I wanted to start with physical items to practice on this month because they are easier. By beginning with items you can hold and interact with you can practice being in this magic, careening off the road into self doubt, shame, overwhelm, and then getting back on track, shifting back into the moment, and picking up where you left off.
“The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life.” ~ Marie Kondō, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
I invite you to pick up Marie Kondo’s book and kick off your New Year with a magical encounter with the physical stuff that supports and loves you. Revel in the notion that your things all yearn to please you and when they have fulfilled that purpose, they yearn to move on so they can please another. Bathe in the gratitude that everything in your home desires to support you, to make you look good, to allow you to create, to sooth your senses, and to nurture your life.
“When you come across something that you cannot part with, think carefully about its true purpose in your life. You’ll be surprised at how many of the things you possess have already fulfilled their role. By acknowledging their contribution and letting them go with gratitude, you will be able to truly put the things you own, and your life, in order. In the end, all that will remain are the things that you really treasure. To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.” ~ Marie Kondō, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
January’s joy-full lesson is to discover the joy that is all around you. And by paring down to only the things that currently serve your highest good, you amplify that in your life. Find great joy in freeing yourself.
by Heart Light Digital
