Posts tagged: depression

Are Your Positive Thoughts Making You Feel Bad?

[This is a reprint of my article in the May 2012 Natural Triad magazine.]

Are Your Positive Thoughts Making You Feel Bad?

By: Donna Burick

One must marry one’s feelings to one’s beliefs and ideas. That is probably the only way to achieve a measure of harmony in one’s life. Napoleon Hill

Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance. Brian Tracy

Our minds are like a vast universe fueled by the dark matter that are our thoughts. They are tricky, sticky, funny, uplifting, inspirational, devastating and crippling. We give our thoughts too much credit. We believe they are our guides but in reality, our feelings are our true guides.

How We “Head” Into Trouble

Anytime we are led by our head we are “headed” for trouble. You see it is our ideas & beliefs that create our problems. You know that on some level – your gut level. Let me explain.  Our thoughts are so tricky that even the “good” ones like, “I want to accomplish something important in my life time” or “I want to discover my life purpose” can be very self-destructive. I would even say they can be as damaging, if not more, than the ones we acknowledge are damaging like “I’m so stupid” or “I can’t believe I did it again”. The way you know these are the same is by the way you feel.

Your feelings are your true guidance system. If thoughts are making you feel “bad” in any way then they are damaging. Don’t be fooled by their false positiveness like those referenced above. It doesn’t matter what the thought is, just how it makes you feel. So, if the thought that you want to do something important in your lifetime excites & motives you then it’s a good thought. However, I’ve seen that very thought paralyze and degrade otherwise bright, talented people. Same thought two different feelings.

My Personal Challenge

Here is an example from my own life. My youngest son has developed a new habit of leaving his shirt on his bathroom floor every morning. He is a teenager so he’s very tired in the morning and after his shower he just can’t seem to remember to pick it up when he leaves the bathroom.

This new habit of his was very stressful for me. I was annoyed that every week there would be 5 or 6 “invisible” shirts on the floor. I assumed that as they built up they would be more noticeable or maybe perhaps when he went in the bathroom in the afternoon or evening then he might notice them then and pick them up. Sadly, no. None of these things took place. They seemed reasonable assumptions on my part but they are apparently utterly foreign to my beloved offspring.

As this trend continued and I made repeated attempts at correcting this behavior to no avail, my anger & frustration grew.  This small issue was growing and consuming my energy and attention. Every time I walked past his bathroom and saw another infraction, I had a negative emotional reaction. What irked me most of all is my son’s unwillingness to understand how monumental this issue really was. To my utter amazement, to him this was just no big deal. Which of course set me off on another tirade all by itself.

My Ah-Ha Moment

I was talking about this struggle I was having (and it is important to note only I was having it – the only struggle my son was having was with me & my ever increasing reactions) and a close friend of mine said to me, “Maybe that’s just his personality. Perhaps you should just let it go and not make such a big deal about it.” I just stood there with my mouth open. I was stunned. If it had been a movie there would have been a quelling of music in the background. I started laughing. She of course was right. I had become a prisoner of my thoughts. Thoughts I was sure were positive, good & right but were making me feel bad. I believed that I was helping my son by training him to not leave his clothes in the bathroom. I did the natural thing and had played it all the way out, reassuring myself that I was saving him from eminent disaster in later life by keeping him from divorce because he was totally incapable of picking up his dirty clothes off the floor. He’s only 14. Perhaps he might just grow out of it – even without my “help”.

I got so wrapped up in my thoughts I forgot to use my guidance system to check in with myself. My feelings of anger & irritation were my flags that something was off, yet I overrode them by reassuring myself that I was right. But I heeded the old adage, “You can be right or happy, chose one.” I changed course and went with happy.

Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family. Virginia Satir

Change Your Mind & Everything Changes

His clothes still adorn the bathroom floor and I still walk past and shake my head, but now I do it with a little smile. Nothing has changed except the way I think about the situation. My new mantra is “Isn’t he so cute.” I now focus my thoughts on the things I adore about my son and I notice I am getting more of those things from him instead of the resistance and struggle brought out by my last stance.

The Universe is made up of wonderful checks and balances and your Mind/Body connection is one of those miracles. Our lives have become full of distractions & disconnects. But the more you can open that channel the more grounded and magical your daily life can become.

The first step is to consciously begin tying the two together. When you are feeling discomfort in your body ask yourself, “What is the thought I was just thinking?” In turn, as you listen to your mind chatter, pause for a moment, drop into your body and ask yourself, “How does this make me feel?” These exercises will help unblock your Mind/Body connection.

Be Wary of the Serpent in Designer Clothing

Overtly negative thoughts are easy to spot, but be on the lookout for the ones that seem positive but elicit “bad” feelings. It is very easy to ignore the guidance of these feelings and overwrite them with the intellectual idea that our Mind knows best. This is where the insidiously tricky, stickiness of our thoughts get us. It’s like having the President fire the Congress and the Supreme Court and appoint himself to be his own set of checks & balances. We would be all up in arms if that happened; yet we let our thoughts convince us that they know what’s best. If you listen very closely you might even catch the slight hissing sound that rolls off the serpent’s tongue when you hear that inner voice whisper, “Trust me, you are in the right.”

You Already Have the Answer

So for those of you who are struggling with the idea that you want to find your life purpose and/or want to accomplish something important here’s your answer. You are already fulfilling your life’s purpose every time you laugh, or connect with someone or love or feel good. Just as you are already accomplishing something important just by adding your unique imprint on the Universe.

Your purpose is to be in love with you. There is no greater gift you can give to the world because only you can give it. That’s why it is also your biggest, most important accomplishment. Your uniqueness is the accomplishment – it is an accomplishment of being not doing. So be the most wonderful version of yourself possible and feel your emotional guidance system give your new way of thinking a standing ovation.

Here is a very interesting video from Mooji discussing this topic:

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What’s Your Dream?

There’s an old Nick Nolte movie in which a homeless man goes around asking people “What’s your dream?” Finding your life’s passion is sometimes harder than it would seem. One way I have my clients assess passion level is by the way tasks and ideas make them feel.

Does thinking about taking on a new career path fill you with energy or dread? Do you feel better or worse after spending the weekend with that new person in your life??

Listening to your own body is the quickest way to tap into your intuition. Your senses are full of information that is reliable – you just need to know what you’re listening for and make sure it’s coming from the right place. Often the voice in our head is not our own and the things that seem to be draining us are not even real.

I came across this great blog called Life in Pencil. Anne, one of the blog’s writer’s, wrote an excellent post about this topic. It’s called “Where’s Your Energy?

Please let me know what some of your experiences are with making decisions and finding your passion.

I look forward to hearing about your journey.

Blessings,

Donna

 

Here’s a great video by Dr. Wayne Dyer about finding your passion:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl-cbXrMGP4&feature=PlayList&p=B4AF02883248AF93&playnext_from=PL&index=1&playnext=2

 

Here are some other blog posts about Finding your passion:

 

5 Simple Ways to Find Your Passion and Take Your Blog from Zero to Hero

How to Find Your Passion for Anything

How to Find Your Passion

100 Useful Web Tools to Help You Find Your Passion, Calling or Career

How to Find Your Passion (And What You Should be Blogging About)

55 Seconds to…Finding Your Passion

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Personal Transition Coaching: Have You Faced These Obstacles?

Personal Transition Coaching: Have You Faced These Obstacles?

Transition Tips Women who are in transition are particularly vulnerable to discouragement and frustration. This can often lead to depression and hopelessness. Change upsets your equilibrium, and if that’s the case in your life then you’ll benefit from Personal Transition Coaching.

Here are some issues that I’ve helped others through. Maybe there is something here that speaks to you.

Weight Loss – Aside from the obvious health benefits, the transition of weight loss can also increase your self esteem. Simply the joy of being able to climb a flight of stairs without becoming winded or getting into smaller size jeans can bring positivity into your life.

 

You can easily feel better about yourself when you achieve your weight loss goals. If you’ve tried lots of ways to lose weight then there is something more to it than just what you eat. Once patterns and blocks have become established in your subconscious, then you need more than just a diet. You need some Energy Therapy Healing to free your mind so your body can follow.

 

Relocation – Moving to a new area is difficult, especially if you are moving away from your family and friends into a completely new area. This type of transition usually leads to loneliness and even depression as women feel that their support systems are ripped away. Whether you are moving for your own job, your husband’s job, or for some other reason, you need support to reestablish your new life.

Career Change – Changing jobs can be pretty scary. This can be a really bumpy time – whether you’re changing companies, pursuing a completely different career, facing unemployment or going into business for yourself. Reach out and get help with adjusting your perspective to open up the possibilities that lie ahead for you.

Divorce or Death – Relationship changes can rock you to the core. Divorce or death of a spouse can send otherwise strong, balanced women reeling. You may feel helpless or disoriented. But there is still joy to be found in your daily life, you just might need some help uncovering it after such a traumatic life event.

New Baby, Teenagers or Empty Nest – It seems that children keep us constantly in a state of transition! There are so many layers of stressors that come with raising children. Everyone at some point needs help to navigate those waters. Think of my Personal Transition Coaching as a lighthouse that keeps you off the rocks that sink your family’s ship.

Change is what makes life exciting and interesting, but to some people, change is viewed as a negative event instead of a chance for personal growth. Transitioning from one chapter of your life to another can be traumatic and difficult, but it doesn’t have to be. Just reach out for some help – there is no bonus award for doing it all alone.

Self Help Video

Here’s what other’s are saying about Personal Transition:

WhatsNext.com Launches For Boomers In Professional And Personal Transition

Career Change & Life Balance is a signature free guide that helps readers identify the best advice and tools for midlife career transition. The in-depth, 36-page downloadable guide features advice from top experts […]

Cultural Ecology Inside Out: Personal to Planetary Transition

Navigating the great transition presents new opportunities and challenges on a deeply personal as well as societal level. We are effectively redefining and reinventing our culture from the inside out.

Balance is the key 

Personal Transition is attaining and maintaining a healthy body as well as a healthy mind.

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Some Amazing Benefits of the BodyTalk System

bodytalk system healingThe BodyTalk System is grabing the attention of many people. It is a fusion of Western healing methods that have a proven track record as well as Eastern traditional practices that have withstood the test of time and science.

As an alternative healing method, it promotes holistic wellness in the human body and mind by working with it as a whole system instead of as an isolated set of parts. The healing benefits are all achieved without the aggressiveness of surgury, injections, or drugs.

Your Physical Systems

The BodyTalk System works as either a stand alone therapy or in partnership with other healing modalities. These other healing methods can include any Western type treatments or Eastern treatment forms like yoga and acupuncture. The inclusive and holistic nature of the BodyTalk System acts as a booster when used in conjunction with other healing methods.

For example, if you are on thyroid medicine, the BodyTalk System can align your body with the medicine so it works more effectively. By integrating the medicine into your body’s systems you recieve a greater benefit because your body is not fighting against something it percieves as an intruder.

Many common physical health issues are addressed by this system. A sampling of these physical issues include but aren’t limited to: arthritis, allergies, headaches, fibromyalgia and acute chronic fatigue,  intestinal parasites, reproductive disorders, digestive disorders, organ and endocrine dysfunctions, acute and chronic infections and back and body pain.

Each session treats specific imbalances in the body before moving on to the next health concern so as to avoid body overload.

Your Mental Systems

The BodyTalk System also addresses mental and emotional concerns, such as stress or anxiety and learning and behavioral disorders, such as ADD and ADHD. These are all often a root cause of physical symptoms that manifest as illness the body. It is your body’s way of alerting you to an imbalance in your system as a whole.

Some other of these problems include: depression, emotional problems, and fears and phobias. Although total results are not always instantaneous, after each session some clients feel a overall general sense of well-being.

If you are looking for a modality to expand your personal development in order to make your life better, this healing method will help you. As your sense of well-being in terms of your mental and physical aspects is restored, your sense of self-confidence can be restored as well. You are literally being healed inside and out.

Your Session Information

Every BodyTalk session is unique. BodyTalk practitioners are guided by your own Innate Wisdom to address what’s needed for you at the time. Each session can have a totally different flavor.

whole life coachingSince the healing is energy based many people have fantastic results with phone or long distance sessions. This helps make sessions more convienent in terms of your time and travel. You’ll be amazed at how powerful and noticeable the positive effects of the BodyTalk System are in your life. 

When you have in person sessions, you lie down on a massage table in order to relax your whole body. You will also be asked to take off your shoes, watch and jewelry since metal or magnetic things can impede the flow of the treatment. You will stay fully dressed as it is not necessary to disrobe.

An experienced BodyTalk System practitioner can truly do wonders for the human body and mind. As this is a process of removing your conscious and subconscious blocks, you’ll easily and quickly return to your natural state of health.

Here is some additional information about BodyTalk:

"BodyTalk" Energy Healing

BodyTalk™ continuing education activities are approved by the American Holistic Nurses Association and the NCBTMB, National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage and Body Work. F…   Read more…

The BodyTalk System

I was referred to BodyTalk for treatment. I was very skeptical. As a nurse with knowledge of the immune system and allergies, I didn’t expect much but wanted results. To my surprise in…   Read more…

What is BodyTalk?

BodyTalk is a complete healthcare system that works with the body’s innate ability to heal itself. There are billions of processes happening in the body at any moment that allow…   Read more…

I am available for a free 15 minute consultation if you’d like to know more about how the BodyTalk System can help your life. Just give me a call at 336-540-0088.

Blessings,

Donna

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