Posts tagged: change

When Is It’s Good to Give Up?

When Is It’s Good to Give Up?

By: Donna Burick

“When things go wrong, don’t go with them.” ~ Elvis Presley

“I ended up dropping out of high school. I’m a high school dropout, which I’m not proud to say, … I had some teachers that I still think of fondly and were amazing to me. But I had other teachers who said, ‘You know what? This dream of yours is a hobby. When are you going to give it up?’ I had teachers who I could tell didn’t want to be there. And I just couldn’t get inspired by someone who didn’t want to be there” ~ Hilary Swank

You might assume that when you’re on your deathbed reviewing your life the things you didn’t do would be your biggest regrets. Well, I don’t think that’s true. I think your biggest regrets stem from the negative things you didn’t give up on. Too often we trudge through our life tenaciously clinging to our negative messages, hurts, and disappointments. These are the things that choke out our dreams & desires. Have you given up on the wrong things in life?

When dealing with your negative stories giving up is a good thing. We often let go of our dreams and our desires while expending our energy holding onto our justification of why we can’t. Here’s an example of how that plays out in our lives.

There is an old story about two monks – an old monk and a young monk. Now these monks were not supposed to come in contact with women, but as they were traveling down a wooded path, they came upon a woman who was trying to cross a section of a river. This woman was not able to jump over the river and she did not have any other way to cross. There was no bridge or stepping stones. The young monk approached the woman, picked her up and carried her across. He bade her goodbye and then returned on his journey alongside the older monk. After many hours of traveling, the young monk says to the older monk, “Is something wrong? It seems like you’ve been angry for a while.” The older monk turned to the young monk and said, “You better believe I’m angry! Haven’t you learned anything during your time with me? We are not supposed to come into contact with women.” To which the younger monk replied, “But Master, I put that woman down hours ago, it is you who has been carrying her all this time.”

So how do we know if we are giving up on the wrong things? Here is a quick 4 step process to test yourself on what you’ve given up on and how it’s affecting your life. The test is to see how quickly you can answer these 4 questions. If you can quickly answer questions 1 & 2, then you are holding onto things that don’t serve you. But if you can quickly answer 3 & 4 then you are holding onto things that bring you joy.

1. Write down 3 things that annoy you about the world, your life, your workplace, etc.

We go through our daily life bombarded with things that annoy, frighten and anger us. Notice how you are letting those things into your day. Are you spending time watching the news? Do you scan the internet for stories of political turmoil, financial crisis or crime?

2. Write down 3 reasons you do not have all the things you want.

We all have those points in our life that we credit for our current path. The sorority that didn’t accept you, the harsh words from your parents, the team we didn’t get pick to be on.  How current are those stories in your life today? Can you readily tell 3 of them? Do you use them to delight your friends, thus keeping their power alive?

3. Write down 3 things you really want.

Can you come up with 3 things you really want? Most people can’t immediately articulate 3 things when asked.  They either offer some vague notion of an outcome or just say, “I don’t know” when asked.

4. Write down 3 things you could do this week to make your dreams come true.

All major projects are made up of many small steps. Break down your big dreams into small steps and list 3 that you can do this week. Focus on what you can do and do it. These actions will keep you on track.

How did you do? Were you able to determine where your thoughts are leading you?

Now is the time to give up those things that bring you down. It is as if you are walking through your life with heavy metal chains dragging you down. Let go of these things so you have a free hand to grab onto the things that make you feel as if you are floating. If you are having trouble letting go, then seek the help of a life coach, counselor or some other professional.

[This article is a reprint of my August 2012 Living Well column in Natural Triad.]

Watch the inspirational video below. You will be amazed at what is possible when you watch this man’s transformation from giving up on himself to giving up on his perceived limitations.

Please leave me a comment on your thoughts. Thanks!

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How to Approach Your Work/Life Situations with B.A.L.A.N.C.E.

Your work/life situation is totally unique but one thing that’s universal is the fact that they often get out of balance. Here is a simple 7 step B.A.L.A.N.C.E. plan for gaining the work/life balance you’re looking for.

1. B – Begin. By deciding to self reflect and observe your life you open up the possibilities for change.

2. A – Asses where you are right now. Really look at where your time and energy goes and asses the priorities you have instituted. Make a note of which actions and priorities make you feel better and which make you feel worse. Also, note which ones are missing.

3. L- Love what is. Many people can not move forward because they are too stuck in judging their situation. They spend all their energy on struggling with it instead of accepting where they are right now and channeling their energy into making new choices.

4. A – Activate new patterns. Once you’ve looked over your activities and priorities and have stopped resisting where you are right now then you have the perfect opportunity to start some new patterns. Maybe you now have a clear idea what you want to say no to. Maybe you are ready to substitute a good feeling activity for one that has been draining you.

5. N – Notice your thoughts. Much of what throws us off balance is mental. Stress is like mud wrestling – there is no way to participate in it and come out clean. Negative thought patterns like worry, overwhelm, anxiety and judgments drain you of the peace and balance you are looking for. These negative thoughts are like stacks of junk mail that build up until they spill over and cover up the good thoughts that make us feel light, happy, and rejuvenated.

6. C – Course correct. As you begin new activities and new thought patterns you will naturally get “off course”. There are only two things you need to do to solve this: fix upon a destination and gently course correct as you go along. Use your emotions as guides to tell you when you are beginning to get off course and then gently correct until you are back into a more positive feeling place.

7. E – Enjoy. You’ve been told a thousand times that life is a journey, not a destination so just enjoy yourself along the way. Know you are going to get off course and that life will bring you unforeseeable detours, but make a conscious choice to enjoy the scenery along the way and then even the time you spend “lost” will be pleasurable.

Your work/life balancing act is unique to your situation. If you would like to create a specialized plan that incorporates a holistic approach please consider getting the assistance of a Whole Life Coach to speed up your progress.

Here are some other articles on this general topic you might like:

Here are some additional articles for you:

  • Energy Therapy Healing:Does It Have Physical Benefits … – Few people think about it, but energy is everywhere. At all times energy is a part of us and is flowing all around us. Everything we see including our own bodies and the earth itself is full of energy.
  • Wholelife Coaching: Lifestyle Entrepreneur Coaching – Whatever you are good at, whatever you enjoy, whatever you have an avid interest in, whatever you love therein lies your talent your Calling. If you are ready to enjoy the freedom of working for yourself, consider what it takes to succeed. It takes vision, planning and follow through, assessing risk and reality, developing relationships, and most importantly it’s a process that takes focus over time.
  • Whole Life Coaching – Margie Gordillo – Something in you wants to step up bigger. Whatever the leap is the only fall is in the choice not to climb.
  • Life Coaching For Your Whole Life — My Whole Life – Alignment : Live your life with integrity; honor your purpose, values, and beliefs. Balance : Create personalized strategies to balance your life and focus on what you define as important. Clarity :  Define success on your own terms.
  • Good Life Coaching | Sharon Good | Career, Life Purpose … – “Life is the only art that we are required to practice without preparation. Whole Life Coaching addresses your life in a holistic way, in which each part affects the whole. T he program begins with a one-and-one-quarter-hour Discovery session, in which we explore and assess your level of satisfaction with each of these areas.
  • Whole Life Coaching that creates a standard of Excellence at Work … – Your employees are the heart of your organization. When employees have personal problems making them unable to focus and be effective in their work. When there is a mutual lack of appreciation and communication between middle management and employees.
  • Life Coaching, Whole Life Coaching By Liza Patchen Short … – If I try to be like you,
    who will be me. provides life coaching as a whole life coach, business coach, and as a life coach for people and families whose lives have been afflicted by cancer. Whole Life Coaching helps move you toward your goals by providing focus, accountability and support.
  • Stephanie Yost Mentzell :: The Whole Life Coach – Put your ear down next to your soul and listen hard. Connect you, unselfishly, to your unique expression in life. Give you the tools to wake up each day excited about the life you have created.
  • Spirituality, Inc. – We will send you an email with instructions on how to continue. … who “applies whole life-coaching techniques to her work with people and with businesses. …
  • Whole Life Coaching – Your Number 1 Priority For Weight Loss … – I have put several programs on this site that have helped me create this online business. Have a look at the product and link pages. You may just find the items that will get your site up and running.
  • Life Pro Coaching » Are You Living La Vida Healthy? – Especially those of you who were so diligently tapping away negative emotions in relationship matters, in matters of business and growth, in matters of pain and dealing with OCD, in many other matters such as weight loss and emotional eating, as well as feeling like you’re blocked on all levels. process and dealt with lots of hidden layers of energetic blockages. I know you have made real progress, and that’s commendable.
  • Whole Life Coaching How to Finally Get What You Want | Engage Today – Whole Life Coaching might be a new term to you but the concept is 4000 years old. It’s a way of looking at your life in a holistic manner.
  • Managing Change in Your Life – The only constant in life is change, how many time have you heard that? No longer do we live in a predictable society; just look at recent world events from a global perspective and you’ll know this to be true. …
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Personal Transition Coaching: Have You Faced These Obstacles?

Personal Transition Coaching: Have You Faced These Obstacles?

Transition Tips Women who are in transition are particularly vulnerable to discouragement and frustration. This can often lead to depression and hopelessness. Change upsets your equilibrium, and if that’s the case in your life then you’ll benefit from Personal Transition Coaching.

Here are some issues that I’ve helped others through. Maybe there is something here that speaks to you.

Weight Loss – Aside from the obvious health benefits, the transition of weight loss can also increase your self esteem. Simply the joy of being able to climb a flight of stairs without becoming winded or getting into smaller size jeans can bring positivity into your life.

 

You can easily feel better about yourself when you achieve your weight loss goals. If you’ve tried lots of ways to lose weight then there is something more to it than just what you eat. Once patterns and blocks have become established in your subconscious, then you need more than just a diet. You need some Energy Therapy Healing to free your mind so your body can follow.

 

Relocation – Moving to a new area is difficult, especially if you are moving away from your family and friends into a completely new area. This type of transition usually leads to loneliness and even depression as women feel that their support systems are ripped away. Whether you are moving for your own job, your husband’s job, or for some other reason, you need support to reestablish your new life.

Career Change – Changing jobs can be pretty scary. This can be a really bumpy time – whether you’re changing companies, pursuing a completely different career, facing unemployment or going into business for yourself. Reach out and get help with adjusting your perspective to open up the possibilities that lie ahead for you.

Divorce or Death – Relationship changes can rock you to the core. Divorce or death of a spouse can send otherwise strong, balanced women reeling. You may feel helpless or disoriented. But there is still joy to be found in your daily life, you just might need some help uncovering it after such a traumatic life event.

New Baby, Teenagers or Empty Nest – It seems that children keep us constantly in a state of transition! There are so many layers of stressors that come with raising children. Everyone at some point needs help to navigate those waters. Think of my Personal Transition Coaching as a lighthouse that keeps you off the rocks that sink your family’s ship.

Change is what makes life exciting and interesting, but to some people, change is viewed as a negative event instead of a chance for personal growth. Transitioning from one chapter of your life to another can be traumatic and difficult, but it doesn’t have to be. Just reach out for some help – there is no bonus award for doing it all alone.

Self Help Video

Here’s what other’s are saying about Personal Transition:

WhatsNext.com Launches For Boomers In Professional And Personal Transition

Career Change & Life Balance is a signature free guide that helps readers identify the best advice and tools for midlife career transition. The in-depth, 36-page downloadable guide features advice from top experts […]

Cultural Ecology Inside Out: Personal to Planetary Transition

Navigating the great transition presents new opportunities and challenges on a deeply personal as well as societal level. We are effectively redefining and reinventing our culture from the inside out.

Balance is the key 

Personal Transition is attaining and maintaining a healthy body as well as a healthy mind.

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