Category: Coaching Personal Transition

The Art of Telling a New Story

[ This is a reprint of my June 2012 article in the Natural Triad Magazine. Please take a few minutes and watch the most amazing video, at the bottom of this post, showing the transformative power of telling yourself a new story of who you are.]

The Art of Telling a New Story

By: Donna Burick

Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it.  – Marianne Williamson

Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, the power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, truly are powerless, because they cannot think new thoughts. —Salman Rushdie

If you keep telling the same sad small story, you will keep living the same sad small life. —Jean Houston

Many people don’t realize the extent to which stories influence our behavior and even shape our culture. Think about how Bible stories teach the fundamentals of religion and rules of conduct. Think of the fables and parables that molded your values. Think of how stories about your national, cultural or family history have shaped your attitudes about yourself and others. —Lawrence Shapiro, in How to Raise a Child with a High EQ: A Parents’ Guide to Emotional Intelligence

Imagine yourself as an old peasant, walking down the road with a very heavy bag slung over your shoulder. As you go down the dusty road this bag causes you to stoop over as you perch it on your back. Although this bag is heavy and awkward you cling to it because it contains all your life stories. The thought of leaving it behind is terrifying. What if you come to a point in the road and you need to make a choice? How would you navigate it without pulling out an old story? What if you are traveling alongside a partner? Could you interact with them without the aid of these heavy memories as your guide?

Not only can you navigate your life more easily without clinging to this old bag of tales but the only way to go through life with ease is to let it go. However, you need to replace it with something else – nature abhors a vacuum. Therefore, it is time you learn the art of telling new stories.

The first step in learning to tell a new story is to realize that the stories you’ve carried for so long as “Truth” are not. They are memories, stories you’ve told yourself & others and as such they are altered each time you recall or retell them. This is a natural process that the mind goes through every time we pull things from one time point into another time point. The act of placing it in the present now alters it. As Dr. Nate Kornell explains in Psychology Today:

“Police have to be very careful when questioning witnesses. They basically treat a witness’s memory like a crime scene: once you go over it a single time, it’s irreversibly disturbed. For example, asking a biased question, even unintentionally, can make a witness tell their story a little differently. Doing so doesn’t just change the story; it changes the witness’s memory, permanently and irreversibly. And this isn’t just true of witnesses. The more we tell stories, the more our memories change.”

Let this thought really marinate with you. What possibilities open up if the very things we look to as life shaping events can be viewed as inaccurate? Well, if they are not empowering, life affirming stories then you are free to discard them as fiction. And if you are dealing with fiction why not write your own?

If you were given the opportunity to re-write your childhood or your divorce how would you reframe it? Can you write a funny or affirming account of these life events? Play at this game for a while and see what the effects are on your psyche.

For example, if you grew up in a poor family who struggled with the burden of having not enough of anything, revisit your childhood through the eyes of a princess growing up in an opulent castle surrounded by many beautiful things. Then shift into today and see how this new story affects your feelings toward money.

Or perhaps you are carrying many scars from a bitter divorce. What if you closed you eyes and saw yourself sitting with your ex-partner at an outdoor café and heard your voice say, “Thanks for the many wonderful memories. We had some really good times but I now release us both to go forth and see what other wonderful adventures await us as we interact with new partners.” And then hear them say, “You are so right. I really appreciate the time we spent together. I bless you and release you to create a new and wonderful leg of your life journey.”

By re-scripting your last scene you rewire your emotional state. This is so important because we create what is in our present experience from the vantage point of our emotions. For example, on days you wake up excited everything seems to flow but on the days you wake up frustrated then everything and everyone annoys you. Your outer world has not dramatically changed, only your inner interpretation of the events or story has shifted.

You may have resistance to this exercise because you believe you have proof that these bad memories occurred. However, this exercise is not asking you to not trust yourself. The purpose of re-writing your stories is to allow in the possibilities of personal growth by removing the painful aspects of your stories so their lessons can shine through. But what if you bump up against resistance or can’t seem to re-write these events? Reach out and ask for help. There are many professional techniques that can disengage the painful active memories in your life.

So in the spirit of summer, unleash your inner child and play with this idea. Recreate your memories as fairy tales or maybe sci-fi thrillers with you having all kinds of cool super powers. Your reality is all within your control. Since you experience your past in the now, by changing your past you shift your present and redirect the course of your future. These new positive thoughts magnetize your vibrations to bring in other good thoughts and outcomes, thus creating a snowball effect of better and better stories that will play out in your future.

Please watch this amazing video and see the transformative power of telling yourself a new story:

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What I Appreciate Most About Losing the Vote on Amendment One

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On Tuesday, May 8th, Amendment One passed in NC. I voted against Amendment One, but my greatest concern is not that it passed, but how my son has reacted to its passing. By losing the vote on Amendment One I have been given the gift of being able to teach my children tolerance and respect.

Einstein said you can’t solve a problem with the same mindset that created it. Therefore, I believe that the way to approach the passing of this amendment is with great appreciation. Why? Because that is the only way to create the space needed for a new possibility to emerge. If we are against people who are against us, then how are we any different from them? We are the same; and it is from this acknowledgement that we are one that compassion and appreciation can blossom. If I am hurting another then I am hurting myself.

So, this is how I’ve approached the passing of Amendment One. I have made a list of all this positive things that this bill has created that were not there before it’s conception. Here’s my list:

  1. I have witnessed very strong & broad coalitions of people that spans age, race & religious beliefs all united together in their support of equal rights for all.
  2. This bill has brought the topic of equal rights to our everyday conversations these past few months and so the vibration around change has been accelerated.
  3. But most importantly this bill has given me a platform to teach my children the most significant lesson of all; if you want others to appreciate and accept you then you must appreciate and accept them – especially if they are very different than you.

My son feels passionate about equal rights for all and he was very anti-Amendment One. He has spent hours on Facebook in heated exchanges with people who have differing views. But it is my belief that what you resist persists, so this is how I responded to my son when he asked me why I was not raging about the passing of Amendment One:

“I think it is great that this issue has gotten so much attention. This vote has really activated the energy of discussion around equal rights. I think that even though I do not agree with those who supported this Amendment, I must respect their views if I expect them to respect mine.  I believe that asking the majority to vote on minority issues is not the most effective way to create change, so I am imagining a newer outcome; one in which the Federal Government steps in and extends rights to all citizens equally.”

I responded this way because I believe in order for circumstances to change there is a two-step process that must happen. First, I must appreciate what is because I can not create something positive with negative energy. Secondly, I must vividly imagine my desired outcome as if it has already happened, trusting that the events leading to that outcome will fall into place. Now, you may think this is all new age fluff, but this morning the top news story is that President Obama came out in support of gay marriage! Coincidence? I think not!

So join me in my vision of our country being a place where all people have the equality, love, respect and appreciation they deserve. Whenever you are reminded about the lack of any of these things, take a moment to imagine it differently and soon enough together we will make it so!

Please pass this post along to others so our foundation of support for this new, better feeling place can manifest more quickly.

Blessings,

Donna

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How to Approach Your Work/Life Situations with B.A.L.A.N.C.E.

Your work/life situation is totally unique but one thing that’s universal is the fact that they often get out of balance. Here is a simple 7 step B.A.L.A.N.C.E. plan for gaining the work/life balance you’re looking for.

1. B – Begin. By deciding to self reflect and observe your life you open up the possibilities for change.

2. A – Asses where you are right now. Really look at where your time and energy goes and asses the priorities you have instituted. Make a note of which actions and priorities make you feel better and which make you feel worse. Also, note which ones are missing.

3. L- Love what is. Many people can not move forward because they are too stuck in judging their situation. They spend all their energy on struggling with it instead of accepting where they are right now and channeling their energy into making new choices.

4. A – Activate new patterns. Once you’ve looked over your activities and priorities and have stopped resisting where you are right now then you have the perfect opportunity to start some new patterns. Maybe you now have a clear idea what you want to say no to. Maybe you are ready to substitute a good feeling activity for one that has been draining you.

5. N – Notice your thoughts. Much of what throws us off balance is mental. Stress is like mud wrestling – there is no way to participate in it and come out clean. Negative thought patterns like worry, overwhelm, anxiety and judgments drain you of the peace and balance you are looking for. These negative thoughts are like stacks of junk mail that build up until they spill over and cover up the good thoughts that make us feel light, happy, and rejuvenated.

6. C – Course correct. As you begin new activities and new thought patterns you will naturally get “off course”. There are only two things you need to do to solve this: fix upon a destination and gently course correct as you go along. Use your emotions as guides to tell you when you are beginning to get off course and then gently correct until you are back into a more positive feeling place.

7. E – Enjoy. You’ve been told a thousand times that life is a journey, not a destination so just enjoy yourself along the way. Know you are going to get off course and that life will bring you unforeseeable detours, but make a conscious choice to enjoy the scenery along the way and then even the time you spend “lost” will be pleasurable.

Your work/life balancing act is unique to your situation. If you would like to create a specialized plan that incorporates a holistic approach please consider getting the assistance of a Whole Life Coach to speed up your progress.

Here are some other articles on this general topic you might like:

Here are some additional articles for you:

  • Energy Therapy Healing:Does It Have Physical Benefits … – Few people think about it, but energy is everywhere. At all times energy is a part of us and is flowing all around us. Everything we see including our own bodies and the earth itself is full of energy.
  • Wholelife Coaching: Lifestyle Entrepreneur Coaching – Whatever you are good at, whatever you enjoy, whatever you have an avid interest in, whatever you love therein lies your talent your Calling. If you are ready to enjoy the freedom of working for yourself, consider what it takes to succeed. It takes vision, planning and follow through, assessing risk and reality, developing relationships, and most importantly it’s a process that takes focus over time.
  • Whole Life Coaching – Margie Gordillo – Something in you wants to step up bigger. Whatever the leap is the only fall is in the choice not to climb.
  • Life Coaching For Your Whole Life — My Whole Life – Alignment : Live your life with integrity; honor your purpose, values, and beliefs. Balance : Create personalized strategies to balance your life and focus on what you define as important. Clarity :  Define success on your own terms.
  • Good Life Coaching | Sharon Good | Career, Life Purpose … – “Life is the only art that we are required to practice without preparation. Whole Life Coaching addresses your life in a holistic way, in which each part affects the whole. T he program begins with a one-and-one-quarter-hour Discovery session, in which we explore and assess your level of satisfaction with each of these areas.
  • Whole Life Coaching that creates a standard of Excellence at Work … – Your employees are the heart of your organization. When employees have personal problems making them unable to focus and be effective in their work. When there is a mutual lack of appreciation and communication between middle management and employees.
  • Life Coaching, Whole Life Coaching By Liza Patchen Short … – If I try to be like you,
    who will be me. provides life coaching as a whole life coach, business coach, and as a life coach for people and families whose lives have been afflicted by cancer. Whole Life Coaching helps move you toward your goals by providing focus, accountability and support.
  • Stephanie Yost Mentzell :: The Whole Life Coach – Put your ear down next to your soul and listen hard. Connect you, unselfishly, to your unique expression in life. Give you the tools to wake up each day excited about the life you have created.
  • Spirituality, Inc. – We will send you an email with instructions on how to continue. … who “applies whole life-coaching techniques to her work with people and with businesses. …
  • Whole Life Coaching – Your Number 1 Priority For Weight Loss … – I have put several programs on this site that have helped me create this online business. Have a look at the product and link pages. You may just find the items that will get your site up and running.
  • Life Pro Coaching » Are You Living La Vida Healthy? – Especially those of you who were so diligently tapping away negative emotions in relationship matters, in matters of business and growth, in matters of pain and dealing with OCD, in many other matters such as weight loss and emotional eating, as well as feeling like you’re blocked on all levels. process and dealt with lots of hidden layers of energetic blockages. I know you have made real progress, and that’s commendable.
  • Whole Life Coaching How to Finally Get What You Want | Engage Today – Whole Life Coaching might be a new term to you but the concept is 4000 years old. It’s a way of looking at your life in a holistic manner.
  • Managing Change in Your Life – The only constant in life is change, how many time have you heard that? No longer do we live in a predictable society; just look at recent world events from a global perspective and you’ll know this to be true. …
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Don’t Fight Personal Transition

Major changes in life are neither good nor bad; they are simply the door to a personal transition.

These are not changes to cope with, but rather opportunities masked as change.

If you fight a personal transition, worry about it or bemoan it, you’ll miss the renewed life it brings.

If you’re unable to work creatively with life’s changes, you find yourself stuck with one foot in the past and dreading the future. This drains you of energy and creates emotional or physical distress.

Clearing away the past and moving on requires you to be aware of your inner fears and how to use the opportunities that lie ahead.

Notice what is making you so uncomfortable about the change you are facing and face it head on.

Change is inevitable, but struggle is optional.

Here are some other blog posts on similar topics:

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Personal Transformation – Is Now a Good Time for a Change?

Life Coach in Greensboro

Personal Transformation is cyclical – much like the seasons. Autumn is rapidly approaching but how does this season change affect your personal growth cycle??

I wrote a recent article on this topic for The Art of Wellbeing. It’s titled Is Autumn a Safe Time for Life Transitions? You can read it here:

http://www.artofwellbeing.com/articles/is_autumn_safe.php

One of the best tips for keeping yourself in alignment as we shift seasons is to tap out your corticies. This keeps your left and right brain working together.

Here is a video of John Veltheim, the founder of The BodyTalk System, teaching you how to do this technique.

Here are some other thoughts on Life Changes:

I have a habit of life changes at or near the September Equinox …

The title of this comes from the recently realized fact that I’ve made major job changes in my life on or near the September Equinox (Autumnal in the north/ Vernal in the South) .

My Bird Sanctuary Dream: Changes In the Seasons of Life

But changes in life are not always as welcome. People like things to remain “the way they are”, sometimes, even when “the way they are” is not ideal.

A Road Less Traveled: Life changes.

Life changes, doesn’t it, after you experience a loss?? And I’m talking all loss – – a parent, a friend, a spouse, a child. Let’s get grieving out in the open.

Lifestyle Changes that Promote Stability, Quality of Life …

To live life to the fullest one needs to be physically active, have optimum fitness and be mentally happy too.

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Personal Transition Coaching: Have You Faced These Obstacles?

Personal Transition Coaching: Have You Faced These Obstacles?

Transition Tips Women who are in transition are particularly vulnerable to discouragement and frustration. This can often lead to depression and hopelessness. Change upsets your equilibrium, and if that’s the case in your life then you’ll benefit from Personal Transition Coaching.

Here are some issues that I’ve helped others through. Maybe there is something here that speaks to you.

Weight Loss – Aside from the obvious health benefits, the transition of weight loss can also increase your self esteem. Simply the joy of being able to climb a flight of stairs without becoming winded or getting into smaller size jeans can bring positivity into your life.

 

You can easily feel better about yourself when you achieve your weight loss goals. If you’ve tried lots of ways to lose weight then there is something more to it than just what you eat. Once patterns and blocks have become established in your subconscious, then you need more than just a diet. You need some Energy Therapy Healing to free your mind so your body can follow.

 

Relocation – Moving to a new area is difficult, especially if you are moving away from your family and friends into a completely new area. This type of transition usually leads to loneliness and even depression as women feel that their support systems are ripped away. Whether you are moving for your own job, your husband’s job, or for some other reason, you need support to reestablish your new life.

Career Change – Changing jobs can be pretty scary. This can be a really bumpy time – whether you’re changing companies, pursuing a completely different career, facing unemployment or going into business for yourself. Reach out and get help with adjusting your perspective to open up the possibilities that lie ahead for you.

Divorce or Death – Relationship changes can rock you to the core. Divorce or death of a spouse can send otherwise strong, balanced women reeling. You may feel helpless or disoriented. But there is still joy to be found in your daily life, you just might need some help uncovering it after such a traumatic life event.

New Baby, Teenagers or Empty Nest – It seems that children keep us constantly in a state of transition! There are so many layers of stressors that come with raising children. Everyone at some point needs help to navigate those waters. Think of my Personal Transition Coaching as a lighthouse that keeps you off the rocks that sink your family’s ship.

Change is what makes life exciting and interesting, but to some people, change is viewed as a negative event instead of a chance for personal growth. Transitioning from one chapter of your life to another can be traumatic and difficult, but it doesn’t have to be. Just reach out for some help – there is no bonus award for doing it all alone.

Self Help Video

Here’s what other’s are saying about Personal Transition:

WhatsNext.com Launches For Boomers In Professional And Personal Transition

Career Change & Life Balance is a signature free guide that helps readers identify the best advice and tools for midlife career transition. The in-depth, 36-page downloadable guide features advice from top experts […]

Cultural Ecology Inside Out: Personal to Planetary Transition

Navigating the great transition presents new opportunities and challenges on a deeply personal as well as societal level. We are effectively redefining and reinventing our culture from the inside out.

Balance is the key 

Personal Transition is attaining and maintaining a healthy body as well as a healthy mind.

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Coaching Personal Transition

Coaching Personal Transition

5 Reasons Why A Fusion Approach Provides Your Best Results

 

Coaching personal transition requires a holistic viewpoint.  By creating a fusion of Intuitive Life Coaching and Energy Therapy I am able to guide you through your transitions more rapidly and productively.

 

Coaching personal transition is my specialty. I want to share with you 5 reasons why my blend of coaching and healing is your quickest route to holistic balance, health and happiness.

 

1. Talking can only access your conscious mind. Do you have an issue that you’ve been dealing with for a long time? Are there old issues in your life that still carry emotional charges? By only accessing your conscious mind it’s impossible to address the subconscious reinforcements that are attached to your issues.

 

2. Accessing your subconscious allows us to remove hidden blocks. By incorporating Intuitive Life Coaching with systems of Energy Therapy, I am able to shift your unconscious belief systems and release blocks that hold you back.

 

3. Your life is a web of interconnected systems. Your physical pain has an emotional and energetic component. Your stress level is connected to your belief systems and your physical vibration. My holistic intuitive approach creates links between all the different levels and aspects of your body/mind/spirit complex.

 

4. All of your underlining connections will be addressed. Regardless of what issue you’re focusing on as a starting point, you’ll uncover your recurring patterns and paradigms, how they play out in all aspects of your life, and how they’ve held you back.

 

5. Every shift creates a ripple effect. Transition affects everyone and everything in your life. My holistic approach encompasses the inner and outer effects your transitions. Your transitions are smoother and easier because we address the impact they have on the people in your life, your personal belief systems and the environment you live in.

 

I provide a free 15 minute phone consultation so you can connect with me in person and discuss how this fusion can help you transform your life quickly and easily.

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